wrenches day....

fully crap cookies... kinda. not really. more an answer... but not an answer to prayer. yeah. but enough about me, poor jake! first week as dts leader and gets a pile of nothing good thrown his way... but he's takin it like a pro. and we love him, so we support him whatever the decision. but me oh my... i need to pray more. i'm totally unsettled about coming home to school now, but not fully confident on staying here either. both are uncertain. both are entirely possible. either would be amazing for me. i just need to discern which one is the one God wants me to go for.... normally i wouldn't be sharing these intimate details of my mental life, but.. i must write it out to properly see. actually no, i'm not going to. it'll stay in my head. if you pray, pray for my direction. the real issue lies in my own decision making... do i really need a BFA to be a 'painter'? or do i really need to staff a dts to dive into missions? both are no, but i can justify either, because i am adaptable and pretty much am happy anywhere, but i just want to be where i am USED the most for God. and again, i think BOTH are a good option. i'm too flippin content... i need doors to open and close so i can see better. but in other news....

steve kumar was our speaker for two days... he wrote 'christianity for skeptics' and probably a few others.. he has an amazing personal testimony and tons of experience debating and defending christianity... so it was a really really solid week of learning and i really wish we coulda had like... 4 weeks with him instead of just 2 days. anyways, he's a hero.

yesterday and today was packing/cleaning day... our rooms are all clean, bags packed for fiji, even though we don't leave until saturday. still i love packing so it was a joy. mmmmm. we were only allowed to pack 12 kilos for fiji, and i fit it all in my little bag and had it packed at 8.5 kilos. thats like... 2 shirts.. 2 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of underwear, and other random things *cough*frisbee*cough* but small enough to have packed like a MAN. chyeah. its an exciting week... surfing tomorrow, and hopefully i won't die. same with the day after. then come back thursday for a going away party, then all day friday question session about fiji from some 'experts'... even though i literally have no questions. nor does anyone else. so i'm hoping it'll turn into a cuddle day or something fun like that. stress stress stress. i think i'm gonna get one more entry in before we go, so savour it. bahaha. if you must.... i'm not sad, i'm just ready. always...

PRAY