and once again i am in michigan... it's time for the last blog! (until my next adventure.) lets make this a keeper. .. ... what to SAY?! right now all i'm doing is prepping my mind for coming back to calgary. (i mean aside from the obvious mass hangouts that go on here mixed with frisbee and bible study and painting my house and pulling out my hair (literally, because it is long and it comes out so easily.. its actually kind of disgusting because its turning into a habit way to quickly and leaving trails of hair everywhere isn't attractive to me. yucky.)) but i mean... michigan is michigan. this isn't my re-entry, because i only come here a few times a year so its always fully on to do stuff while i'm here because i won't be here long. but going back to calgary where i LIVE will be the challenge. going back into normal life outside my sheltered bubble. i loved the bubble and i will miss the bubble, but i'm ready and stoked to see if i've actually changed, even though my world has not. but i feel like i have, so we'll have to see. its good to be home. (the other day i realized i'm the opposite of homeless.. i'm homefull, because i can't say specifically which one place is my 'home' because pretty much everywhere i go i can consider 'home'. its nice being adaptable. i'm easy.)
the last few days of travel were probably the best.. after queenstown we headed up the west coast towards greymouth. we stopped along a beautiful lake that night and in the morning we had such an amazing view of the mountains and the lake and the sunshine and the bunnies an rainbows an fluffy clouds OH it was glorious. we headed up to the fox glacier and got as close as we could without stepping over the boundaries (those stupid STUPID constricting boundaries.. we could guide ourselves.. c'mon! all it takes to be a guide is a pick axe, a backpack, and a beard.) but we had a good time. then we went to the franz josef glacier about half hour away and didn't go nearly as close but trekked through the forest for awhile only to come upon a path that winds up the hill we were going to the top of to look at the glacier from. if we had only travelled 20 feet more before crossing the creek... humility rules. (the glaciers were pretty ... pretty. i was kinda shocked i'd never seen a glacier before. isn't the rockies riddled with them? obviously i have some exploring to do.) that night we went just north of greymouth (after some late night mcdonalds (to charge our camera's an stuff! what! (i DID happen upon some french fries... and a sunday.. and i will not regret it.))) and found this really sweet camp spot just off the road in the trees.. problem was it was super muddy and i was really nervous we were gonna get stuck. the crew said screw it, let it harden over night an we'll just peel out in the morning. BUT it rained all night and when we woke up the whole area was sopping wet... i had lost sleep over this fact and knowing that we'd be stuck.. but rest comes and goes y'know? (at least i wasn't losing sleep over thinking about girls (high five!! me!! good on I)) so before we had breakfast we tried to get out an got stuck (of course). it was a good battle going back and forth and back and forth doing a 37-point turn with a motor home trying not to get even more stuck but eventually we turned fully around and blasted through the mud in first gear and then we celebrated with porridge. we went to the pancake rocks/blowholes that morning and it was probably the coolest place we'd been yet... west coast? thumbs way up. like not even crooked, just amazing.
then where did we go... we went up. and up and up and up to the northern most point on the southern island. joanna was looking for a specific beach but.. we never found it. but we had a good time wandering the sandy beaches in the dark. surprisingly good pictures too! me an nik tried to scare silvia but she is a master straight face.. no frights for her. we drove all the way back to greymouth and spent the night outside of arthurs pass.. the first spot we pulled into had a cowskin with a decapitated cow head a few feet away and it smelled like death... we agreed this was unsuitable and creepy as hell to sleep next too so we just parked at the next picnic area and slept for a few hours.... thhhhhhhhhhhen arthurs pass happened an it was a most beautiful moment. i thought it was gonna be all windy and horrible but it turned out to be super fast and easy and we got through it to christchurch really stinkin fast... but we stopped along the way at a caving area called cave stream and thought we were gonna have a cool hike along the cave but it was a legit caving area so we couldn't even get near the mouth of the cave.. we tried, and tried, and eventually got 'near' the mouth of the cave, but couldn't go inside. next time cave.. next time. i thought i was a claustrophobic person but i wanted to go in soooo badly... me'n nik walked along the stream for a bit and had some good picture moments but once we finally discovered the exit of the cave we felt satisfied. it'd be a good experience one day... so then we packed up, did what you do when you return a motorhome, then slept at the airport one last night. they had their flights at 5 in the morning to australia so i had to say bye and that SUUCKED but it wasn't as hard as it should have been because they were stressed (late, heavy luggage, visa issues... suckfest) but yep... that is how we ended.
the flight home was pretty much the easiest flight i've ever done... it was only 12 hours this time and for some reason it was the quickest 12 hours of my life. i watched 4 1/2 movies and i think at one point i must have passed out unknowingly because 4 1/2 movies is not 12 hours. but i did not complain! same with the four hours from LA to detroit... just passed out and arrived somehow. SO ended my journey... i have a bundle of thank you letters to write because i truly am thankful for everyone with any part they played in my trip. money, prayers, it all made it happen. i learned... so much. SO stinkin much. i can't wait to look back on all this... it'll be amazing and hopefully spiritually boosting... i've got danger ahead and i need to be protected during it. WHELP. you'll probably get a letter. i love you, thank you for reading.
8.11.2009
8.02.2009
rain day
now that i am wonderfully filled with scenes from different places and potentially exciting stories, i finally feel like writing! what a magical moment for me and my brain. i wish i could say the same for drawing... cripes.
so that day i had alone in christchurch... was a really weird day. just mentally speaking... there was far too much thought time and it felt a little like re-entry just because i wasn't with anyone (which was sweet at the same time) but ALSO at the same time was me myself and my thoughts, alone for the first time in 6 months. it'll be a true task getting back into real life when i get back to calgary... michigan always seems like a vacation, but crap gets real when canada happens.
it was lovely to see my swiss girls an nik when they came in that night at 10... we crashed at the airport again and discovered showers in the bathroom! bonus... we eventually ended up at backpackers and picked up our rental campervan (which is pretty much a standard motorhome... i love it...) and got lots of food, beer, and travel ambitions. there... is a lot to see.
the first night we made it to lake tekapo, and found a place where camping is only prohibited if you get caught, and had an amazing supper of fake-oven heated frozen pizza. but it was so good... we were told to travel mostly during the day because there is so much to see, if you drive at night you are just gonna be wasting all the view you could be having. the first day we only drove about 3ish hours... next day we headed down towards dunedin and stayed near kaka point, just outside of a town called onaka. it was dark when we were finding a place to sleep so that took forever but when we woke up we found we were right on the beach with an absolutely amazing sunrise... best freaking morning ever. and porridge.. OH porridge. with kiwi. eating cheap is just better. we planned to go to milford sound yesterday (the most beautiful place in NZ apparently...) but the road was closed due to heavy snowfall and avalanche danger. so... that was a solid waste of 2 hours there to find the road closed, 2 hours back in darkness. the drive was sweet despite the rain but... pretty sure that end part of fellowship of the ring was filmed on the lake we drove by. awesome stuff... today we are in queenstown and joanna an nik are going bungie jumping, because they are crazy AND can afford it. i'm stoked for them... sylvia is in the 'wan' (because thats what we named her) sleeping, and i am here catching up on the world. hopefully... i'm sure i could break it down more but all that would involve is hours upon hours of driving, some beautiful pictures you'll see eventually, some drinking, some sleeping, and more porridge.
see you (whoever you are) eventually.
so that day i had alone in christchurch... was a really weird day. just mentally speaking... there was far too much thought time and it felt a little like re-entry just because i wasn't with anyone (which was sweet at the same time) but ALSO at the same time was me myself and my thoughts, alone for the first time in 6 months. it'll be a true task getting back into real life when i get back to calgary... michigan always seems like a vacation, but crap gets real when canada happens.
it was lovely to see my swiss girls an nik when they came in that night at 10... we crashed at the airport again and discovered showers in the bathroom! bonus... we eventually ended up at backpackers and picked up our rental campervan (which is pretty much a standard motorhome... i love it...) and got lots of food, beer, and travel ambitions. there... is a lot to see.
the first night we made it to lake tekapo, and found a place where camping is only prohibited if you get caught, and had an amazing supper of fake-oven heated frozen pizza. but it was so good... we were told to travel mostly during the day because there is so much to see, if you drive at night you are just gonna be wasting all the view you could be having. the first day we only drove about 3ish hours... next day we headed down towards dunedin and stayed near kaka point, just outside of a town called onaka. it was dark when we were finding a place to sleep so that took forever but when we woke up we found we were right on the beach with an absolutely amazing sunrise... best freaking morning ever. and porridge.. OH porridge. with kiwi. eating cheap is just better. we planned to go to milford sound yesterday (the most beautiful place in NZ apparently...) but the road was closed due to heavy snowfall and avalanche danger. so... that was a solid waste of 2 hours there to find the road closed, 2 hours back in darkness. the drive was sweet despite the rain but... pretty sure that end part of fellowship of the ring was filmed on the lake we drove by. awesome stuff... today we are in queenstown and joanna an nik are going bungie jumping, because they are crazy AND can afford it. i'm stoked for them... sylvia is in the 'wan' (because thats what we named her) sleeping, and i am here catching up on the world. hopefully... i'm sure i could break it down more but all that would involve is hours upon hours of driving, some beautiful pictures you'll see eventually, some drinking, some sleeping, and more porridge.
see you (whoever you are) eventually.
7.29.2009
best. day.
alone... in christchurch... with my backpack, dead camera, borrowed ipod and 12 hours till my friends also arrive. we will sleep in the airport... where i slept last night with strangers. that's all you need to know. i am at the pinnacle moment of my wanderlust moment.
7.23.2009
whoa day
yay i graduated! good tidings and uplifting delayed confetti blasts. no more soul ties to this place... haha i lie, there are a lot. in all of my student brothers and sisters, and parental staffers. love them all. the first few days were just getting settled back into the base for final days, cleaning, graduating, starting to say goodbye (but not to the point of tears... friggen yet!) we had some teaching on re-entry, just how hard its gonna be and how hard satan is gonna come at us to get us off of our spiritual high. like a lion ready waiting to crouch.. armor of God get on me. we had a pretty fun night of saying hello and goodbye to friends that we'd met on NZ outreach, as well as some pretty awkward 'ceremony' moments... what with silence and a very poorly produced cd in the background... i mean it was a really good night but i think tonight will blow it out of the water. honouring night... where we tell anyone what we think about them in a good way, and in a way say our final goodbyes to one another since we leave tomorrow morning. its been a pretty long bumpy ride but.. man its been good and stretching and i know God brought me here for a reason. so.. tonight is gonna be so so hard, and at the same time so good. time to close this season of life with lots of loving. and crying. sigh...
now i just can't wait to travel. so soon... jake ithy decided to join us (because he discovered his flight isn't till monday...) going to wellington, so our crew is joanna, sylvia, nik, jake and me. were gonna get a minivan (hopefully) and leave saturday morning and get back by monday, an then us minus jake fly down to christchurch. we rented a motorhome because anything smaller would be illegal with more than 3 people... since we plan on sleeping anywhere we get tired. its gonna be a good time. i'm only a little nervous because the motorhome is gonna be the biggest thing i've driven on real roads before. but... more growth i guess. sites to see, hikes to hike, memories to solidify. stoked. i hope i happen across cheap ink.
now i just can't wait to travel. so soon... jake ithy decided to join us (because he discovered his flight isn't till monday...) going to wellington, so our crew is joanna, sylvia, nik, jake and me. were gonna get a minivan (hopefully) and leave saturday morning and get back by monday, an then us minus jake fly down to christchurch. we rented a motorhome because anything smaller would be illegal with more than 3 people... since we plan on sleeping anywhere we get tired. its gonna be a good time. i'm only a little nervous because the motorhome is gonna be the biggest thing i've driven on real roads before. but... more growth i guess. sites to see, hikes to hike, memories to solidify. stoked. i hope i happen across cheap ink.
7.16.2009
pirate day
man... have i dropped the ball this hard? i had to search beneath the house because the ball fell through the floor. me oh my where to begin.. or END muhahahaa. nah but for real, i have one ONE ONE more week until we pack up from the base and head out. then.... precious precious traveling await.
so te aroha has continued to be different... in many ways. the first and foremost, it is a different level of spiritual intensity, compared to fiji. but to counter that we have seemingly more free time (seemingly because of internet, and time used on it can be deemed free and since it's FREE internet, our free time is spent not spending money.)... i've found out i don't hate kids... at all actually.. sure they are annoying sometimes but like people who need extra grace, God has given me a surplus of patience to deal with them. they are fun! i love the chaos, the shoulder rides, pushin screaming kids on swings.. having 4 year olds flip me off... its a wondrous thing. the only part i hate is the mess that comes with 25 kids in one place.. my gosh. its relentless. i finally understand why parents tell kids to clean up their rooms. at long last, my understanding of my parents is complete. (throws hands in the air) no WONDER...
each day we get up a little before 8 (if we are lucky, me'n nik eat breakfast because we sleep until the last possible moment.. no alarm clock) then we discuss what'll happen during the day. normally we agree to do something different with the kids, try some things out, and by 11 we realize that none of our plans are going to happen so we just try to keep kids content in their own games and chaotic pursuits. but after our discussion we pray, then get prepped for the kids. 2 1/2 - 3 hours later we are exhausted and completely unattraced to the opposite sex, lest those desires form little balls of energy that easily make messes. nah... i lie. we are tired, but most of us are satisfied and happy to realize that we don't actually hate kids. they are pretty rad... and our own kids one day? gonna be so much fun. myyyy goodness... i can wait. but now i'm lookin forward to it. my how things change...
for the first week an few of this week every afternoon we went on a prayer walk and tried to get all the streets in te aroha covered in the spirit... and we did that pretty quick so yesterday we did some street evangelism (or tried... i started following a path that led into the mountain hiking paths and had to try my hardest not to continue to explore... that was my battle. i love hiking. an nature. approaching people is so hard. once i'm in, i'm set... sharing my faith isn't an issue. its just hard to get in. thats why i like relationships better...) but i didn't end up talking to anyone other than rambunctious 13 year old girls who asked if i had a girlfriend. i told them i was a wee tad too old, and they kept walking before i could ask them if they wanted to come to youth group. no biggie..
then at night. ohhhh the nights. we often go to a church members house for supper, and we get treated really well. sometimes we even get some ministry done on us, cuz we are all messed up with plenty of issues... so night time is probably my favorite, because we have gotten to know some people really well and its gonna be hard to leave te aroha on sunday.. BUT people come and people go, i'll see them all in heaven non? oui.
and that is how te aroha has been... we have a few days left, and very shortly i'll be done school and traveling the south island, then coming home, then to canada a week later. i may post more, i may not.
so te aroha has continued to be different... in many ways. the first and foremost, it is a different level of spiritual intensity, compared to fiji. but to counter that we have seemingly more free time (seemingly because of internet, and time used on it can be deemed free and since it's FREE internet, our free time is spent not spending money.)... i've found out i don't hate kids... at all actually.. sure they are annoying sometimes but like people who need extra grace, God has given me a surplus of patience to deal with them. they are fun! i love the chaos, the shoulder rides, pushin screaming kids on swings.. having 4 year olds flip me off... its a wondrous thing. the only part i hate is the mess that comes with 25 kids in one place.. my gosh. its relentless. i finally understand why parents tell kids to clean up their rooms. at long last, my understanding of my parents is complete. (throws hands in the air) no WONDER...
each day we get up a little before 8 (if we are lucky, me'n nik eat breakfast because we sleep until the last possible moment.. no alarm clock) then we discuss what'll happen during the day. normally we agree to do something different with the kids, try some things out, and by 11 we realize that none of our plans are going to happen so we just try to keep kids content in their own games and chaotic pursuits. but after our discussion we pray, then get prepped for the kids. 2 1/2 - 3 hours later we are exhausted and completely unattraced to the opposite sex, lest those desires form little balls of energy that easily make messes. nah... i lie. we are tired, but most of us are satisfied and happy to realize that we don't actually hate kids. they are pretty rad... and our own kids one day? gonna be so much fun. myyyy goodness... i can wait. but now i'm lookin forward to it. my how things change...
for the first week an few of this week every afternoon we went on a prayer walk and tried to get all the streets in te aroha covered in the spirit... and we did that pretty quick so yesterday we did some street evangelism (or tried... i started following a path that led into the mountain hiking paths and had to try my hardest not to continue to explore... that was my battle. i love hiking. an nature. approaching people is so hard. once i'm in, i'm set... sharing my faith isn't an issue. its just hard to get in. thats why i like relationships better...) but i didn't end up talking to anyone other than rambunctious 13 year old girls who asked if i had a girlfriend. i told them i was a wee tad too old, and they kept walking before i could ask them if they wanted to come to youth group. no biggie..
then at night. ohhhh the nights. we often go to a church members house for supper, and we get treated really well. sometimes we even get some ministry done on us, cuz we are all messed up with plenty of issues... so night time is probably my favorite, because we have gotten to know some people really well and its gonna be hard to leave te aroha on sunday.. BUT people come and people go, i'll see them all in heaven non? oui.
and that is how te aroha has been... we have a few days left, and very shortly i'll be done school and traveling the south island, then coming home, then to canada a week later. i may post more, i may not.
7.08.2009
elijahs birthday
so... te aroha is flippin sweet. amazing, if not awesome. having done our third day with the kids, i can fully say i kind of really enjoy kids, which is nice to know considering my former fear of under 10-ers. i just like teenagers better! but wee ones are pretty sweet too. its pretty exhausting but really we only see them for 3 hours a day, so i have absolutely no complaining to do. i think 2 weeks is the perfect amount of time, cuz its to a point where i'll miss them when i leave, but any longer i'd be sick of them. so that's good!
but the youth here... oh my goodness. they are such a good group.. monday night we had a prayer meeting, and this was just a normal prayer meeting for the leaders, but i was stirred beyond what i've ever been stirred before, and i really really felt the presence of God (which is rare for me, so when i do, its a big deal.) and even had a little suedo-vision to share with the leaders... all leading to revival which has been the story of this church's last year. visions upon visions of revival.. they are gonna change this town. we were just praying for tuesday night! which also was not a disappointment.. after a few items we split up the guys and girls and had an encouragement night. i was nervous because i didn't know any of the youth, so for us it was like a prophesy night... first off, the guys were already so amazing and supportive of each other (and SO mature in their faith) and aware of how the spirit moves and everything awesome, it made it so easy to feel comfortable around them. second, DUDE prophesy works! i knew mebe 2 of the 12ish guys, but God gave me something to say for every one of them that came up into the hot seat for encouragement. it wasn't like a huge revelation for them, but i could tell what they were like and it was always confirmed by what other people (who really knew them well) said about them.. i don't even know if i had any impact on any of their lives, but God showed me that he can speak to me and through me and allow me to see the hearts of people. at least in that situation... flip it was so fun.
other'n that, loving my team, loving my journey, getting so pumped to travel the south island. just booked my plane tickets. listening to my favorite music, and watching some pablo francisco. he's dirty as but he's so funny.... cripes...
and 'Jesus for president' is absolutely filling me with holy fire. my eyes burn for the future just thinking about my position in life... i'm so glad to be a part of truth.... revolution.. genuine love.. shane claiborne an chris haw do good.
but the youth here... oh my goodness. they are such a good group.. monday night we had a prayer meeting, and this was just a normal prayer meeting for the leaders, but i was stirred beyond what i've ever been stirred before, and i really really felt the presence of God (which is rare for me, so when i do, its a big deal.) and even had a little suedo-vision to share with the leaders... all leading to revival which has been the story of this church's last year. visions upon visions of revival.. they are gonna change this town. we were just praying for tuesday night! which also was not a disappointment.. after a few items we split up the guys and girls and had an encouragement night. i was nervous because i didn't know any of the youth, so for us it was like a prophesy night... first off, the guys were already so amazing and supportive of each other (and SO mature in their faith) and aware of how the spirit moves and everything awesome, it made it so easy to feel comfortable around them. second, DUDE prophesy works! i knew mebe 2 of the 12ish guys, but God gave me something to say for every one of them that came up into the hot seat for encouragement. it wasn't like a huge revelation for them, but i could tell what they were like and it was always confirmed by what other people (who really knew them well) said about them.. i don't even know if i had any impact on any of their lives, but God showed me that he can speak to me and through me and allow me to see the hearts of people. at least in that situation... flip it was so fun.
other'n that, loving my team, loving my journey, getting so pumped to travel the south island. just booked my plane tickets. listening to my favorite music, and watching some pablo francisco. he's dirty as but he's so funny.... cripes...
and 'Jesus for president' is absolutely filling me with holy fire. my eyes burn for the future just thinking about my position in life... i'm so glad to be a part of truth.... revolution.. genuine love.. shane claiborne an chris haw do good.
7.05.2009
LG day
its steph's phone. an LG. quality. 4 YEARS AGO! nah. phone prejudice aside, communication is a good thing.
HEY guess what i haven't done in a week! flippin... this... cuz as much as i wanna say we've done a TON and brought a lot of people closer to God... only the girls can say that they have. they had a worship night with a bunch of ... girls. and jess'n alicia lead worship and the spirit really moved and a few girls made some committments.. pretty rad! good on the girls too... they seemed sad but now they seem stoked and happy and pleased and excited and full of life and joyous and merry and pleasant and alliterary and valuable. (one of these does not belong...) bahaha.
but... seriously te aroha is sweet. we are living in a wicked (but cold... wicked, but cold..) house behind the church where steph's dad pastors. he is a really sweet guy, an their whole family is really solid. like... so solid. i kinda have a family crush on her. hate when that happens huh?! but nah, it'll be sad to leave in two weeks. church this morning pretty much kicked a ton of butt... the church moves heavily in the spirit so the worship is soooo sick. steph's mom taught an she was really into it which is how she rolls so i let her mentally roll right over me. God gave me a little tidbit of confirmation with school which is what i've been asking him for... i'm trying to listen more instead of demand. but... asking is part of being in a faithful trusting relationship so i ask. but cripes... working on relationship is sweet once you realize its been broken a little bit. spiritual tape and continue. no backsliding!
tomorrow through what will seem like an eternity we will be running a kids camp from 9:30am-12... its gonna be hard because i don't particularly enjoy kids of this specific age. i'm more of a just born -> just after talking, passing straight over to puberty and up. its the middle 'lookit me! lookit me!' that i have a hard time with. which is exactly the age we are with, and exactly what i think God will challenge me with. it'll be good... i saw the most convicting poster of my life today (since i don't normally pay any attention to posters that are in the same house with me) but all it said was 'Jesus loves little children', and since i am trying to love Jesus more, i need to love what he loves, and i know he loves little children. so i'll have to do my best to free myself of that little fear... hopefully. we'll see how it goes tomorrow!! actually really excited now that my heart is in the right place. yay and amen.
ps put your yes on the friggen table. then ask me what that means.
HEY guess what i haven't done in a week! flippin... this... cuz as much as i wanna say we've done a TON and brought a lot of people closer to God... only the girls can say that they have. they had a worship night with a bunch of ... girls. and jess'n alicia lead worship and the spirit really moved and a few girls made some committments.. pretty rad! good on the girls too... they seemed sad but now they seem stoked and happy and pleased and excited and full of life and joyous and merry and pleasant and alliterary and valuable. (one of these does not belong...) bahaha.
but... seriously te aroha is sweet. we are living in a wicked (but cold... wicked, but cold..) house behind the church where steph's dad pastors. he is a really sweet guy, an their whole family is really solid. like... so solid. i kinda have a family crush on her. hate when that happens huh?! but nah, it'll be sad to leave in two weeks. church this morning pretty much kicked a ton of butt... the church moves heavily in the spirit so the worship is soooo sick. steph's mom taught an she was really into it which is how she rolls so i let her mentally roll right over me. God gave me a little tidbit of confirmation with school which is what i've been asking him for... i'm trying to listen more instead of demand. but... asking is part of being in a faithful trusting relationship so i ask. but cripes... working on relationship is sweet once you realize its been broken a little bit. spiritual tape and continue. no backsliding!
tomorrow through what will seem like an eternity we will be running a kids camp from 9:30am-12... its gonna be hard because i don't particularly enjoy kids of this specific age. i'm more of a just born -> just after talking, passing straight over to puberty and up. its the middle 'lookit me! lookit me!' that i have a hard time with. which is exactly the age we are with, and exactly what i think God will challenge me with. it'll be good... i saw the most convicting poster of my life today (since i don't normally pay any attention to posters that are in the same house with me) but all it said was 'Jesus loves little children', and since i am trying to love Jesus more, i need to love what he loves, and i know he loves little children. so i'll have to do my best to free myself of that little fear... hopefully. we'll see how it goes tomorrow!! actually really excited now that my heart is in the right place. yay and amen.
ps put your yes on the friggen table. then ask me what that means.
7.01.2009
the day i almost got kicked outa bible school
k... what ensues is the longest blog in history because it was the longest explanation email in history because of my adventures... i don't feel like sharing it again and this email was so gracefully crafted i feel i must share it. because telling it again would be lost upon my now healed situation in which forgiveness has been dealt, and my attitude is no longer in the extreme need for mercy therefore writing it again would lose the delicate need to explain everything... so read if you want, or just know that i almost got kicked out, but now i get to finish and graduate. hooray!!
sosoSO. this all begins on friday. pastor michael, our fijian pastor came to us in the morning pretty unexpectedly. i wrote about it in my blog and stuff but this will go far more into detail.. he started off unhappy because straight away when he walked in a few people were still sleeping on the floor, because we hadn't gotten up at 7 to do intercession or worship because we were gonna do it after breakfast, which had become pretty normal to us... but he started off saying how disturbed he was that we were not fully committing ourselves to being on this mission and how we were becoming a burden rather than a blessing. he started comparing us to the other teams on our dts as well as previous schools before us that had come... saying that they were all getting up at 6am to pray as a team and help the family with breakfast (though everytime we tried to help with breakfast, we got shooed away because our family wanted us to rest easy and not go to hard (which at the beginning of the trip during our brief with michael he had said that overworking ourselves would be no good because we wouldn't of been useful to him that way)) and how the other teams were seeking opportunities and often doing way more than they had scheduled and fulfilling far more ministry hours than we were. (this came as a complete shock to all of us since other times we had been nothing but encouraged about how we were doing and how much we were appreciated (so pretty much our hearts were broken straight away with discouragement)... he brought up how we had cursed the family we were with for bringing in a few copies of the book of mormon, calling us far to young to be reading another scripture and that it would confuse us in our young spiritual age (while adding that he knew where we are at spiritually because it is a gift God gave him and because he knew our backrounds.) and that the book was demonic and we had no right to bring it in without permission (which was true. he had a few points on asking for permission and things that honestly did help us get back into a better level of communication with our fijian family) but he didn't do it in a way that was at all respectful of where we were at because he does NOT know us. he has never spent any one on one time with any of us or been anywhere we have been during ministry hours, and when he has it was at the very end of our time enough to congradulate us on a job well done. that whole part really really pissed me (and everyone else) off because its not his judgement to make on where we are spiritually. michael continued to go on an say that if we brought back the mormon books to the base, bill and baryll would just burn them. (this is where someone crapped in their hand and held onto it for a bit) lucas instantly spoke up against him saying that he doubted that, specifically since many of our dts speakers said we should have the other scriptures with us so we can better know how to talk to people and minister to people of different faiths. (makes sense right? flip yes.) michael didn't take that kindly at all as in fiji nobody under the age of yourself will ever speak back at you, especially if you are a pastor. (the only flaw other than pride in lucas's argument...) so they argued a little bit but michael shut him up and moved on... he started talking about how we had become the biggest burden on our fijian family as compared to the other teams since we didn't do anything to help, we hadn't cleaned their compound (which we had on the inside, but he wouldn't of known that since he was never there... and back to being shooed away... our fijian momma never lets us do anything becuase she loves what she does and knows she'll be blessed for doing it for us out of love. she's a stay at home mom and really has done a ton for us... after this conversation she was raking and we tried to do it for her but she said she'd go up on the roof and rake if we tried to take it away from her. she's pretty amazing... ). that part really made us feel bad (since we believed it) and nik told michael on behalf of the team we were sorry and that we respected him.. michael asked us with moderate sincerity to forgive him for having to talk to us like this which all of us said yes minus lucas, who chose (oh so wisely (but justly...)) to say 'honestly? its gonna take me awhile'. so michael gave him an ultimatum of forgiving him that night at youth group.. so sigh. that was the start of all this. nick an steph talked for about two hours to michael outside afterwards, explaining all the miscommunications and other completely valid excuses we had. we got the message though an agreed to really press in for our last week. ps- lucas didn't forgive him or talk to him at youth group.
so michael came by on sunday morning to talk to lucas... thats about when he threw the poop in his hands up into the fan. they went outside with nick an steph and the head of the house george, an they talked for about half hour with none of us knowing what was happening. they came in afterwards and went straight to the girls room to have a leaders/lucas talk privately... that lasted for about an hour before we were allowed to come in and find out what was happening. apparently the argument went really south really fast (it was a pride issue... on both sides. lucas felt belittled by being called a child, and michael felt insulted by not being submitted to...) and it ended with lucas being not allowed to be a part of our team. we prayed for a long while about what to do and how to feel and we prayed a lot for healing from the hurt michael had put on us especially the leaders, making them feel completely inadequate and like failures... though they are so amazing and God has done nothing but bless us through them. lucas had a really good heart and prayed that nobody would become rebellious against michael and that his fight would remain his fight as well as his burden and consequence. so it was a really good time... (it was super hard to go to church without lucas and then say our goodbyes to the church with michael saying how much of a blessing we had been to them and how 'not just a life has been changed.. lives!' (to which my ever-growing bitter heart cringed at... but that was prayed out and my heart has no contempt for michael... just to let you know...)) it was especially hard because the only thing steph had told us was that it was completely unfair and that lucas showed as much respect as he could while defending himself against this unexpected oppression... but we moved on with our day and waited for bill and baryll to call.
k now for the part where i get involved and you say 'i told you so!!!' and i say 'but it was done already!' except i dont' argue and i humbly say i'm learning an extremely valuble lesson about obedience and submission... so the tattoos. the reason i stopped so abruptly is because nick had come to me an said we should probably not do it in georges house anymore because he doesn't agree with it (which i agreed with and apologized to george too, which i was forgiven for ) that night i was planning on giving one of the youth leaders a tattoo, because he had asked me too and i was still on that 'i feel so blessed to be having this chance' phase before it was killed. somebody told someone who hated tattoos and the next afternoon we got our first pastor michael reprimanding about tattoos and why we are here and he so politely shared his views on why he thinks tattoos are wrong and whatnot... in front of the whole team. so that was extremely humbling and i felt very sorry for having overstepped my bounds in my excitement and naivity for trusting georges son sammy that everything was alright and that his dad didn't care... (that was just the family issue which was resolved, but michael was now talking about the spread of it and why it could not go on, which we all agreed with). so he finished with a glorious smile saying it was now a non-issue if it didn't come up again and that since he reported to bill and baryll on our progress (ps they are our directors..) he said that he would not bring it up with them. which i was very very glad for. it was a giant piece of humle pie which i took down without losing a giant piece of dignity or respect. cool! non-issue. moved on. set! LIES!
in the next few days me'n the guys were really discussing why some people feel convicted against tattoos and why we thought they were ok (biblically... spiritually...) it was healthy. the youth leader i was supposed to tattoo had had a conviction against it that night, so he was all against tattoos (which is totally fine) but we were only discussing it and apparently that got back to pastor michael, which was brought up in a minor point against us in his friday morning talk about his authority and our submission. didn't know discussion was violating his authority but we took that pill too. situation over!! crap no it isn't....
so michael told bill and baryll about the tattoos, and during that phone call (which only nick took, being the leader and amazing student of Christ that he is) i heard him say 'tattoos? yeah, just the son of george and one of his buddies' and that was that since they had moved on to lucas's issue by then.. which is where the focus goes on to me and lucas gets put into the background and where you put your hands over your head in mock headache and say dissapointingly 'oh son...'. back to that very first night of tattooing, my good friend and brother nik (niK not niCK) said quickly and quietly that he wanted something... to which we both knew was fully against the suedo facist rules of the dts directors bill and baryll.. but.. think about... the best going away from fiji present ever... something to forever remember fiji and the things God did and does in our life/lives...and nik (being one of the funniest guys i've yet to meet) allowing something to be done that would be the funniest thing of most all time... a heart on his butt. so of course, us being clever and stupid went outside and did it super fast and crappy just like he wanted while our own authorities slept inside... unknowing and therefore out of trouble if the issue ever came up. so nik, lucas an i as well as a few fijian boys knew about a heart resting under the skin of niks butt. it was the best kept secret for a long time. a very good long time. a very good long extremely hard to keep it inside especially with curious as baby monkey girls constantly asking to look at nik's now forbidden camera time.
so. this morning. pastor michael came back and him'n lucas had another talk, and all of our prayers must have softened both of their hearts, because they both came in happy, resolved, with lucas back on the team. at the point of phone call yesterday, nick didn't know about niks butt while talking to baryll on the phone, which we thought was super ok and in the clear (minus an afternoon of my own mental paranoia). everything was all dandy and good and nik was having a shower and we were deciding what to do today with our very coveted day off. nick was asking if we were all gonna be around for lunch, so (being a man with a similar penis to niks) opened the door of the shower to see if nik would partake in lunch. thinking quickly, nik covered up the tattoo instead of his junk with his hand (which to the immediate surveyor is not at all unusual... but to a thought dweller...) and turned around... irregardless, nick saw it not thinking and asked 'is that a tattoo?' to which nik slyly said 'what? no. and i'll be here for lunch'. so... while nick was washing dishes 30 seconds later when i came into the kitchen he said 'was that... a heart tattooed on niks butt?' to which i said.. 'mebe...' to the response 'did he always have that?' to my shy reply 'mebe...' to the startling realization 'did he get that here?!' .... mebe.. to a giant look of ohhhhhh crap... 'i really really really wish i hadn't of seen that...'
and dismay! we talked to steph and she giggled and said no wait, serious? very serious... they had a tag team talk to me'n nik, to which they said that they understood why we would've kept it a secret from them (it just made sense in order to maintain order!!) however that there were probably going to be definite consequences for this. they weren't mad (well nick wasn't.... we still have to fully apologize to steph though she is a pretty awesome forgiving person). so... as baryll was gonna call again today to check on the now redeemed lucas situation, nick went for a prayer walk to decide what he was gonna do. he could, in protection for us, lie and continue to sweep it under the rug and we could all move on, or he could tell baryll and throw us on the mercy of our directors. to which we said do not sacrifice yourself for us... so when the time came he went through the lucas situation, then came back to our situation, which she wasn't happy about. we defied nick, we defied the rules, and when we get back that there will be sit down talks and whatnot. fair and fair... (right away its good he talked to baryll, cuz bill was all for kicking lucas straight off of the school for an argument with a pastor.)
so as it stands we are not getting sent home early from fiji... since we only have a few days left we can stay on the team and finish the fiji outreach. we don't know of anything other than the for sure sit down talks. i'm gonna right away say that i'm sorry to you, mom, eric david... for getting myself into this kinda trouble. i'm not too concerned for myself because it is not gonna break me in any way... i'm learning a lesson and i'm gonna learn it hard. i can't be too hasty to say what my punishment will be, so i'll list scenarios on what it could look like depending on much grace God puts on barylls heart. (thats where i need you to pray... )
since the nature of our offense is strictly disobedient, we probably won't be shown a lot of leniency.. in that regard, i don't feel very bad at all for disobeying rules i think are ridiculous, but its not about the rules it is about the breaking of them. i knew the consequences when i did it, and i honestly thought it just wouldn't come out. (i think God knew it would...) so that act of disobedience is fully subject to whatever the punishment is. i'm not gonna go into the meetings bitter about the rules but humble and apologetic and hoping for mercy, because i do want to finish the school. more than finishing i want to do the NZ outreach with my team. ultimately i don't need a certificate or diploma to say that i've had a successful trip since i've fully grown closer to God, which was my goal. i know i could very well be stripped short of the benefits from finishing the school (like staffing, or second level schools).
kk....
best scenario. mercy, we get to do outreach, we get to graduate with all of our brothers and sisters.
cruddier scenario. we get to graduate, but dont' get to go on outreach. its cruddier still, because one won't happen without the other, so its virtually implausible.
crap and most likely scenario. we talk, we explain, we don't get grace and we get kicked out. we'd get to say goodbye to everyone but we'd be asked to leave the base.
my hope is that in case of the last one that i leave on good terms... i dont' wanna go in arguing and thrashing my way for getting rules removed. if i'm leaving i'm leaving as a friend of YWAM. i'm gonna be as respectful as i can and hopefully they can see that i understand the situation and i'm not looking for anything more than a second chance to actually obey. i can't ever say i fully regret the situation because its forcing me to cling to God as my foundation, and me putting full trust into him. regardless of the outcome i know i'm gonna be a better person because of this experience, even if it is a shortcoming in the eyes of everyone who helped send me. i'm fully prepared to write everyone an apology letter and ask for forgiveness for failing to meet even a minor expectation of finishing..
i hope you can forgive me straight away and get on my side and pray for me... i don't want to regret anything (and i don't suspect i will, but i also don't want to get bitter about rules and things because i know the reasons why they are there (which is probably the reason i broke them... stupid rebellious heart...))
now for the interesting part... if i get kicked out. (of bible school? think about the rejects of life that will allow me to talk too because of experiences... i got a crazy cool prophesy over me yesterday that gets further confirmation through something like this) i know my ticket is now for august 7th, which i don't want to move. i still fully plan on travelling with nik and our ladies once the girls get done school. (cuz me'n nik are in the same boat...) (oh ps, in case of our getting the boot lucas (the foolish rebel) said that he'd probably just leave with us since he's been done with this school for months and the only thing keeping him around was us in the first place).. so us three. we'd stick together and travel around the country... i have a friend of a friend in picton that i'm gonna try to connect with to see if we can find a place to stay, or with steph's family since she lives only half hour from the base (but might not look to kindly on our disobedience, though they were all for lucas and his standing up against michael). so we have options.. there is so much potential for adventure its really really really hard for me to feel bad for what i did. this gives us our own outreach and our own chances to deal Christ to people since we are all burning hot for him. (all this trouble is spiritual fuel for us...) however knowing the damage i could do to future potential ministry options (though its not entirely on my back alone... we asked God to make us different, we just forgot to ask to be better rather than the black sheep of the whole bunch ( but i looooove black sheep...)) and the NZ outreach as all 3 guy students would leave and the tiare oha outreach would disintegrate with only 4 people... i'm gonna feel aweful for that if it happens. but... this is all in potential motion and nothing is final. i've given it to God over and over and i trust him fully to deal with the situation in the way that will glorify him the most. i'll call as soon as i know what is gonna happen once i'm back in NZ... i just wanted to let you know this way so you can pray for me (first and foremost) and be ready for bad news if it comes.
i'm really really sorry for failing in the way that i have, and i hope that nothing is gonna scar my relationship with anyone at home who doesn't understand me. i'm in happy spirits because i know what i've done wrong and i'm prepared to take it. but i know God does miracles and hopefully this can be the biggest one in my life so far (which in the big picture is so so so so so small for God.. ..
... and can make a sweet story at some point when the heat is worn off and i'm a better perso because of it... what kinda hochhalter gets kicked out of bible school... cmon.... only tyler logic can do that.)
yay and amen. i'd update more, but this is enough to take in...
*** but its also a week behind so i'll update you anyways MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
we are in te aroha for nz outreach... we have internet, colds, and lucas is back at the base getting some solid one on one counseling for his own issues. he's stoked, we're stoked for him, and we are all gonna grow and get stuff done. solidness..
sosoSO. this all begins on friday. pastor michael, our fijian pastor came to us in the morning pretty unexpectedly. i wrote about it in my blog and stuff but this will go far more into detail.. he started off unhappy because straight away when he walked in a few people were still sleeping on the floor, because we hadn't gotten up at 7 to do intercession or worship because we were gonna do it after breakfast, which had become pretty normal to us... but he started off saying how disturbed he was that we were not fully committing ourselves to being on this mission and how we were becoming a burden rather than a blessing. he started comparing us to the other teams on our dts as well as previous schools before us that had come... saying that they were all getting up at 6am to pray as a team and help the family with breakfast (though everytime we tried to help with breakfast, we got shooed away because our family wanted us to rest easy and not go to hard (which at the beginning of the trip during our brief with michael he had said that overworking ourselves would be no good because we wouldn't of been useful to him that way)) and how the other teams were seeking opportunities and often doing way more than they had scheduled and fulfilling far more ministry hours than we were. (this came as a complete shock to all of us since other times we had been nothing but encouraged about how we were doing and how much we were appreciated (so pretty much our hearts were broken straight away with discouragement)... he brought up how we had cursed the family we were with for bringing in a few copies of the book of mormon, calling us far to young to be reading another scripture and that it would confuse us in our young spiritual age (while adding that he knew where we are at spiritually because it is a gift God gave him and because he knew our backrounds.) and that the book was demonic and we had no right to bring it in without permission (which was true. he had a few points on asking for permission and things that honestly did help us get back into a better level of communication with our fijian family) but he didn't do it in a way that was at all respectful of where we were at because he does NOT know us. he has never spent any one on one time with any of us or been anywhere we have been during ministry hours, and when he has it was at the very end of our time enough to congradulate us on a job well done. that whole part really really pissed me (and everyone else) off because its not his judgement to make on where we are spiritually. michael continued to go on an say that if we brought back the mormon books to the base, bill and baryll would just burn them. (this is where someone crapped in their hand and held onto it for a bit) lucas instantly spoke up against him saying that he doubted that, specifically since many of our dts speakers said we should have the other scriptures with us so we can better know how to talk to people and minister to people of different faiths. (makes sense right? flip yes.) michael didn't take that kindly at all as in fiji nobody under the age of yourself will ever speak back at you, especially if you are a pastor. (the only flaw other than pride in lucas's argument...) so they argued a little bit but michael shut him up and moved on... he started talking about how we had become the biggest burden on our fijian family as compared to the other teams since we didn't do anything to help, we hadn't cleaned their compound (which we had on the inside, but he wouldn't of known that since he was never there... and back to being shooed away... our fijian momma never lets us do anything becuase she loves what she does and knows she'll be blessed for doing it for us out of love. she's a stay at home mom and really has done a ton for us... after this conversation she was raking and we tried to do it for her but she said she'd go up on the roof and rake if we tried to take it away from her. she's pretty amazing... ). that part really made us feel bad (since we believed it) and nik told michael on behalf of the team we were sorry and that we respected him.. michael asked us with moderate sincerity to forgive him for having to talk to us like this which all of us said yes minus lucas, who chose (oh so wisely (but justly...)) to say 'honestly? its gonna take me awhile'. so michael gave him an ultimatum of forgiving him that night at youth group.. so sigh. that was the start of all this. nick an steph talked for about two hours to michael outside afterwards, explaining all the miscommunications and other completely valid excuses we had. we got the message though an agreed to really press in for our last week. ps- lucas didn't forgive him or talk to him at youth group.
so michael came by on sunday morning to talk to lucas... thats about when he threw the poop in his hands up into the fan. they went outside with nick an steph and the head of the house george, an they talked for about half hour with none of us knowing what was happening. they came in afterwards and went straight to the girls room to have a leaders/lucas talk privately... that lasted for about an hour before we were allowed to come in and find out what was happening. apparently the argument went really south really fast (it was a pride issue... on both sides. lucas felt belittled by being called a child, and michael felt insulted by not being submitted to...) and it ended with lucas being not allowed to be a part of our team. we prayed for a long while about what to do and how to feel and we prayed a lot for healing from the hurt michael had put on us especially the leaders, making them feel completely inadequate and like failures... though they are so amazing and God has done nothing but bless us through them. lucas had a really good heart and prayed that nobody would become rebellious against michael and that his fight would remain his fight as well as his burden and consequence. so it was a really good time... (it was super hard to go to church without lucas and then say our goodbyes to the church with michael saying how much of a blessing we had been to them and how 'not just a life has been changed.. lives!' (to which my ever-growing bitter heart cringed at... but that was prayed out and my heart has no contempt for michael... just to let you know...)) it was especially hard because the only thing steph had told us was that it was completely unfair and that lucas showed as much respect as he could while defending himself against this unexpected oppression... but we moved on with our day and waited for bill and baryll to call.
k now for the part where i get involved and you say 'i told you so!!!' and i say 'but it was done already!' except i dont' argue and i humbly say i'm learning an extremely valuble lesson about obedience and submission... so the tattoos. the reason i stopped so abruptly is because nick had come to me an said we should probably not do it in georges house anymore because he doesn't agree with it (which i agreed with and apologized to george too, which i was forgiven for ) that night i was planning on giving one of the youth leaders a tattoo, because he had asked me too and i was still on that 'i feel so blessed to be having this chance' phase before it was killed. somebody told someone who hated tattoos and the next afternoon we got our first pastor michael reprimanding about tattoos and why we are here and he so politely shared his views on why he thinks tattoos are wrong and whatnot... in front of the whole team. so that was extremely humbling and i felt very sorry for having overstepped my bounds in my excitement and naivity for trusting georges son sammy that everything was alright and that his dad didn't care... (that was just the family issue which was resolved, but michael was now talking about the spread of it and why it could not go on, which we all agreed with). so he finished with a glorious smile saying it was now a non-issue if it didn't come up again and that since he reported to bill and baryll on our progress (ps they are our directors..) he said that he would not bring it up with them. which i was very very glad for. it was a giant piece of humle pie which i took down without losing a giant piece of dignity or respect. cool! non-issue. moved on. set! LIES!
in the next few days me'n the guys were really discussing why some people feel convicted against tattoos and why we thought they were ok (biblically... spiritually...) it was healthy. the youth leader i was supposed to tattoo had had a conviction against it that night, so he was all against tattoos (which is totally fine) but we were only discussing it and apparently that got back to pastor michael, which was brought up in a minor point against us in his friday morning talk about his authority and our submission. didn't know discussion was violating his authority but we took that pill too. situation over!! crap no it isn't....
so michael told bill and baryll about the tattoos, and during that phone call (which only nick took, being the leader and amazing student of Christ that he is) i heard him say 'tattoos? yeah, just the son of george and one of his buddies' and that was that since they had moved on to lucas's issue by then.. which is where the focus goes on to me and lucas gets put into the background and where you put your hands over your head in mock headache and say dissapointingly 'oh son...'. back to that very first night of tattooing, my good friend and brother nik (niK not niCK) said quickly and quietly that he wanted something... to which we both knew was fully against the suedo facist rules of the dts directors bill and baryll.. but.. think about... the best going away from fiji present ever... something to forever remember fiji and the things God did and does in our life/lives...and nik (being one of the funniest guys i've yet to meet) allowing something to be done that would be the funniest thing of most all time... a heart on his butt. so of course, us being clever and stupid went outside and did it super fast and crappy just like he wanted while our own authorities slept inside... unknowing and therefore out of trouble if the issue ever came up. so nik, lucas an i as well as a few fijian boys knew about a heart resting under the skin of niks butt. it was the best kept secret for a long time. a very good long time. a very good long extremely hard to keep it inside especially with curious as baby monkey girls constantly asking to look at nik's now forbidden camera time.
so. this morning. pastor michael came back and him'n lucas had another talk, and all of our prayers must have softened both of their hearts, because they both came in happy, resolved, with lucas back on the team. at the point of phone call yesterday, nick didn't know about niks butt while talking to baryll on the phone, which we thought was super ok and in the clear (minus an afternoon of my own mental paranoia). everything was all dandy and good and nik was having a shower and we were deciding what to do today with our very coveted day off. nick was asking if we were all gonna be around for lunch, so (being a man with a similar penis to niks) opened the door of the shower to see if nik would partake in lunch. thinking quickly, nik covered up the tattoo instead of his junk with his hand (which to the immediate surveyor is not at all unusual... but to a thought dweller...) and turned around... irregardless, nick saw it not thinking and asked 'is that a tattoo?' to which nik slyly said 'what? no. and i'll be here for lunch'. so... while nick was washing dishes 30 seconds later when i came into the kitchen he said 'was that... a heart tattooed on niks butt?' to which i said.. 'mebe...' to the response 'did he always have that?' to my shy reply 'mebe...' to the startling realization 'did he get that here?!' .... mebe.. to a giant look of ohhhhhh crap... 'i really really really wish i hadn't of seen that...'
and dismay! we talked to steph and she giggled and said no wait, serious? very serious... they had a tag team talk to me'n nik, to which they said that they understood why we would've kept it a secret from them (it just made sense in order to maintain order!!) however that there were probably going to be definite consequences for this. they weren't mad (well nick wasn't.... we still have to fully apologize to steph though she is a pretty awesome forgiving person). so... as baryll was gonna call again today to check on the now redeemed lucas situation, nick went for a prayer walk to decide what he was gonna do. he could, in protection for us, lie and continue to sweep it under the rug and we could all move on, or he could tell baryll and throw us on the mercy of our directors. to which we said do not sacrifice yourself for us... so when the time came he went through the lucas situation, then came back to our situation, which she wasn't happy about. we defied nick, we defied the rules, and when we get back that there will be sit down talks and whatnot. fair and fair... (right away its good he talked to baryll, cuz bill was all for kicking lucas straight off of the school for an argument with a pastor.)
so as it stands we are not getting sent home early from fiji... since we only have a few days left we can stay on the team and finish the fiji outreach. we don't know of anything other than the for sure sit down talks. i'm gonna right away say that i'm sorry to you, mom, eric david... for getting myself into this kinda trouble. i'm not too concerned for myself because it is not gonna break me in any way... i'm learning a lesson and i'm gonna learn it hard. i can't be too hasty to say what my punishment will be, so i'll list scenarios on what it could look like depending on much grace God puts on barylls heart. (thats where i need you to pray... )
since the nature of our offense is strictly disobedient, we probably won't be shown a lot of leniency.. in that regard, i don't feel very bad at all for disobeying rules i think are ridiculous, but its not about the rules it is about the breaking of them. i knew the consequences when i did it, and i honestly thought it just wouldn't come out. (i think God knew it would...) so that act of disobedience is fully subject to whatever the punishment is. i'm not gonna go into the meetings bitter about the rules but humble and apologetic and hoping for mercy, because i do want to finish the school. more than finishing i want to do the NZ outreach with my team. ultimately i don't need a certificate or diploma to say that i've had a successful trip since i've fully grown closer to God, which was my goal. i know i could very well be stripped short of the benefits from finishing the school (like staffing, or second level schools).
kk....
best scenario. mercy, we get to do outreach, we get to graduate with all of our brothers and sisters.
cruddier scenario. we get to graduate, but dont' get to go on outreach. its cruddier still, because one won't happen without the other, so its virtually implausible.
crap and most likely scenario. we talk, we explain, we don't get grace and we get kicked out. we'd get to say goodbye to everyone but we'd be asked to leave the base.
my hope is that in case of the last one that i leave on good terms... i dont' wanna go in arguing and thrashing my way for getting rules removed. if i'm leaving i'm leaving as a friend of YWAM. i'm gonna be as respectful as i can and hopefully they can see that i understand the situation and i'm not looking for anything more than a second chance to actually obey. i can't ever say i fully regret the situation because its forcing me to cling to God as my foundation, and me putting full trust into him. regardless of the outcome i know i'm gonna be a better person because of this experience, even if it is a shortcoming in the eyes of everyone who helped send me. i'm fully prepared to write everyone an apology letter and ask for forgiveness for failing to meet even a minor expectation of finishing..
i hope you can forgive me straight away and get on my side and pray for me... i don't want to regret anything (and i don't suspect i will, but i also don't want to get bitter about rules and things because i know the reasons why they are there (which is probably the reason i broke them... stupid rebellious heart...))
now for the interesting part... if i get kicked out. (of bible school? think about the rejects of life that will allow me to talk too because of experiences... i got a crazy cool prophesy over me yesterday that gets further confirmation through something like this) i know my ticket is now for august 7th, which i don't want to move. i still fully plan on travelling with nik and our ladies once the girls get done school. (cuz me'n nik are in the same boat...) (oh ps, in case of our getting the boot lucas (the foolish rebel) said that he'd probably just leave with us since he's been done with this school for months and the only thing keeping him around was us in the first place).. so us three. we'd stick together and travel around the country... i have a friend of a friend in picton that i'm gonna try to connect with to see if we can find a place to stay, or with steph's family since she lives only half hour from the base (but might not look to kindly on our disobedience, though they were all for lucas and his standing up against michael). so we have options.. there is so much potential for adventure its really really really hard for me to feel bad for what i did. this gives us our own outreach and our own chances to deal Christ to people since we are all burning hot for him. (all this trouble is spiritual fuel for us...) however knowing the damage i could do to future potential ministry options (though its not entirely on my back alone... we asked God to make us different, we just forgot to ask to be better rather than the black sheep of the whole bunch ( but i looooove black sheep...)) and the NZ outreach as all 3 guy students would leave and the tiare oha outreach would disintegrate with only 4 people... i'm gonna feel aweful for that if it happens. but... this is all in potential motion and nothing is final. i've given it to God over and over and i trust him fully to deal with the situation in the way that will glorify him the most. i'll call as soon as i know what is gonna happen once i'm back in NZ... i just wanted to let you know this way so you can pray for me (first and foremost) and be ready for bad news if it comes.
i'm really really sorry for failing in the way that i have, and i hope that nothing is gonna scar my relationship with anyone at home who doesn't understand me. i'm in happy spirits because i know what i've done wrong and i'm prepared to take it. but i know God does miracles and hopefully this can be the biggest one in my life so far (which in the big picture is so so so so so small for God.. ..
... and can make a sweet story at some point when the heat is worn off and i'm a better perso because of it... what kinda hochhalter gets kicked out of bible school... cmon.... only tyler logic can do that.)
yay and amen. i'd update more, but this is enough to take in...
*** but its also a week behind so i'll update you anyways MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA
we are in te aroha for nz outreach... we have internet, colds, and lucas is back at the base getting some solid one on one counseling for his own issues. he's stoked, we're stoked for him, and we are all gonna grow and get stuff done. solidness..
6.20.2009
oh yes, that day
my goodness gracious only 6 days left! flippin... flip. you know what song really gets me goin right now? that song... that is during the credits for slumdog millionaire... it plays so often on the radio (which thankfully is only once every few days during taxi time or random free time (anymore and i would unfortunately get sick of it which would be SUCH a shame since it is currently tied to so many good things (ie: slumdog millionaire, and fiji.))). there is a movie on right now in the cafe with colin farrell. i think it is tigerland... i like that movie.. but i haven't heard f-bombs in so long it is releasing tons of those things in my brain that tell me things that are wrong feel good. endorphins! nah... i just know that certain words release them because i know i shouldn't be saying them. and i'm not. i'm just hearing them. but my ears have been sheltered for so long... curious. very.. curious.
where did i last leave off? who knows. you probably do. i could go back and look, but that'd be super lame. i'll summarize.
one last venture of door knocking to the good place... it was just alright.
we went to a 'special' school (though they like to call it a sunshine school (though directly beneath it it says special school... curious... very.. curious)) however! the name was misleading and they weren't very challenged at all (i mean a few were, but for the most part they were extremely functional and healthy anyways) but it was more of a school for troubled young people... though they didn't seem very troubled either. IRREGARDLESS it was a pretty fun time.. really cool to actually have people laugh at our skits instead of just us. i had to give a 1 1/2 minute talk on how big God is but 23 seconds into it i lost their attention.. this is when i realized i'm never going to be a kids pastor because they don't agree with me.. but they give rad high fives and knew our names really quick and hopefully had a good time so we had a good time... chyeahhh
then... it rained today...
then.... yesterday we got a harsh reprimanding from the pastor... it was very out of nowhere. shocking actually... really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally pissed me and us off. things were said... that shouldn't of been said. things that had absolutely no right to be said. BUT i've forgiven him and so i must move on. i'll just say that before we came, we prayed we would be different from all the other teams. and we are! but next time we will have to pray that we will be better than all the other teams that came before, and that we wouldn't fall short as we apparently have. (DESPITE tons of conflicting arguments from the accusing side and several interlaced contradictions with previous conversational transactions leaving us blindsided and highly discouraged.) thankfully, our lovely fijian family is always there for us to make us feel amazing and loved and that we actually are doing good. downtalking moot, spirits up, time to shine. right? friggen right.
and we have very little time left. i'm not writing again until i'm back in NZ, so i'll have you know! that this week will be dandy. tomorrow, is church. heckyeah! but before that we are going back to houses we have visited with to say g'bye, pray s'more, and leave fiji with good memories. monday is our last day off, an as we went to a beach finally this monday, we should hopefully be visiting a sandbar in the middle of the ocean . hopefully. fijian contacts are not nearly as reliable as confirmed word (western..ly speaking..) so its really hopes we are banking on swimming in... tuesday will be more follow up, wednesday will be prison, and thursday we will be reunited with suva team and hopefully have a big lovefest/ party. glorious. friday, feet in, headed home to NZ.
mothei
where did i last leave off? who knows. you probably do. i could go back and look, but that'd be super lame. i'll summarize.
one last venture of door knocking to the good place... it was just alright.
we went to a 'special' school (though they like to call it a sunshine school (though directly beneath it it says special school... curious... very.. curious)) however! the name was misleading and they weren't very challenged at all (i mean a few were, but for the most part they were extremely functional and healthy anyways) but it was more of a school for troubled young people... though they didn't seem very troubled either. IRREGARDLESS it was a pretty fun time.. really cool to actually have people laugh at our skits instead of just us. i had to give a 1 1/2 minute talk on how big God is but 23 seconds into it i lost their attention.. this is when i realized i'm never going to be a kids pastor because they don't agree with me.. but they give rad high fives and knew our names really quick and hopefully had a good time so we had a good time... chyeahhh
then... it rained today...
then.... yesterday we got a harsh reprimanding from the pastor... it was very out of nowhere. shocking actually... really really reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally pissed me and us off. things were said... that shouldn't of been said. things that had absolutely no right to be said. BUT i've forgiven him and so i must move on. i'll just say that before we came, we prayed we would be different from all the other teams. and we are! but next time we will have to pray that we will be better than all the other teams that came before, and that we wouldn't fall short as we apparently have. (DESPITE tons of conflicting arguments from the accusing side and several interlaced contradictions with previous conversational transactions leaving us blindsided and highly discouraged.) thankfully, our lovely fijian family is always there for us to make us feel amazing and loved and that we actually are doing good. downtalking moot, spirits up, time to shine. right? friggen right.
and we have very little time left. i'm not writing again until i'm back in NZ, so i'll have you know! that this week will be dandy. tomorrow, is church. heckyeah! but before that we are going back to houses we have visited with to say g'bye, pray s'more, and leave fiji with good memories. monday is our last day off, an as we went to a beach finally this monday, we should hopefully be visiting a sandbar in the middle of the ocean . hopefully. fijian contacts are not nearly as reliable as confirmed word (western..ly speaking..) so its really hopes we are banking on swimming in... tuesday will be more follow up, wednesday will be prison, and thursday we will be reunited with suva team and hopefully have a big lovefest/ party. glorious. friday, feet in, headed home to NZ.
mothei
6.13.2009
pre-fathers day (right?)
i haven't a clue. i think so. IF so, happy fathers day. in two days. perhaps... either way, late or early, i love you dad, and i'll email you after i write this.
so cool things... door knocking yesterday was pretty alright, talked to james for about an hour an a half, an he pretty much preached to us the whole time about the spirit and what being a christian is all about. so that was mighty encouraging.. i told him he should go be a missionary. then we prayed for a family that seemed really sad... mebe we'll be seein either of them before we leave in 1 week 6 days. scary...
rash update: i talked to racheli who used to be a nurse, and it seems that i had gotten an allergic reaction to something... it was like poison ivy, but not as itchy and not as disgusting (pussy, bubbly..) though it spread like MAD. after it had gone over an area it didn't usually come back but it was starting too.. it started where i mentioned before, spread up and down my arms (i took some really sexy pictures) and onto my back a little bit... i went to sleep and woke up with it mainly all over my bottom region, and throughout the day it spread down my thighs and shins and up my back near the end of the day.. but at primal i was worshipping really hard and asking God to take it all away.. it wasn't until a few hours later before we were going to bed that i noticed i didn't have any sign of the rash at all. perfectly whiteboy skin, no rash no itchy... it was a sweet hallelujah.
today we just watched our good friend will play rugby (which i must say is soooo cool...) then we played some of the craziest volleyball i've ever played.. me nick an steph hopped in on a game of fijian volleyball, which was recreation to them but pretty much the most skilled volleyball game i've ever been a part of. i held my own alright but i was definitely the least experienced on the court... they play so flippin good.... it was such a good time. then we played some frisbee with some wee kids at the park, an now i'm here. sigh an hooray! AND hosanna.
so cool things... door knocking yesterday was pretty alright, talked to james for about an hour an a half, an he pretty much preached to us the whole time about the spirit and what being a christian is all about. so that was mighty encouraging.. i told him he should go be a missionary. then we prayed for a family that seemed really sad... mebe we'll be seein either of them before we leave in 1 week 6 days. scary...
rash update: i talked to racheli who used to be a nurse, and it seems that i had gotten an allergic reaction to something... it was like poison ivy, but not as itchy and not as disgusting (pussy, bubbly..) though it spread like MAD. after it had gone over an area it didn't usually come back but it was starting too.. it started where i mentioned before, spread up and down my arms (i took some really sexy pictures) and onto my back a little bit... i went to sleep and woke up with it mainly all over my bottom region, and throughout the day it spread down my thighs and shins and up my back near the end of the day.. but at primal i was worshipping really hard and asking God to take it all away.. it wasn't until a few hours later before we were going to bed that i noticed i didn't have any sign of the rash at all. perfectly whiteboy skin, no rash no itchy... it was a sweet hallelujah.
today we just watched our good friend will play rugby (which i must say is soooo cool...) then we played some of the craziest volleyball i've ever played.. me nick an steph hopped in on a game of fijian volleyball, which was recreation to them but pretty much the most skilled volleyball game i've ever been a part of. i held my own alright but i was definitely the least experienced on the court... they play so flippin good.... it was such a good time. then we played some frisbee with some wee kids at the park, an now i'm here. sigh an hooray! AND hosanna.
6.11.2009
uro day
thats fijian for sexy. uro. sexy. you know why? i haven't cut my hair in 4 months, i haven't shaved in one month, i have a rash under my pits, a little around my back and stomach and a lot near around and on my crotch... as well as a beater tan line. llllladiiiiiiiiies..... (points to the awaiting crowd of women) oh me oh my oh yes.
other'n that i love life. (pfft that is WHY i love life... muhahaha nobody to impress makes me feel fantastic and spiritual. oh yes, spiritual.)
our last few days have been doorknocking... the old folks home on tuesday was rather poor, we did 'work' by raking 13 leaves and throwing trash into a river. we didn't get to pray for anyone so that was a bummer... but it was still a fun day. we watched night at the museum 2 for our monday night off... it was pretty decent. i had some laughs. we got some quotes. success. but doorknocking! this new area we are in is super.... good isn't the right word, mebe its open. yessure, open. the first day we did a quick prayer at one house, then the next house we met a woman named cosum, who has a really cool testimony (involving healing and finding Christ through ways hindu's normally do.. sooolid) and is involved in a scary marriage that she is trying to get out of... (perfectly justified, let me tell you...) so we encouraged her to flee to her kids in suva so hopefully she does that this weekend.. we talked a lot and prayed a lot with her and really felt the spirit work. she made us lunch. it was fried rice. it was the best ever...
then today amini (pretty much entirely in fijian) lead a methodist dude to salvation... he talked in english a few times to clue us in at what he was saying but it was just really cool to see him be lead by the spirit and say just the right things to james who was really wanting and ready for it. (the methodists here do not believe in the spirit and are very very religious.. ie: no noise in church, while praying or no music during worship... ssssssssssssstupid) but it was sweet to finally see someone come to know God.
other'n that... pretty much 2 weeks left. gonna miss the crap out of fiji.. its become very familiar and leaving (while parts of me will be relieved (the rashy bits... flippin... rashy bits...)) will be hard. no time to think like that though, there's a whole 'nother day of door knocking tomorrow! then PRIMAL. so good. i miss loud noisy youth groups. the youth are quiet but the music is loud... hopefully we can get a whole bunch of strangers to come. happy birthday!
other'n that i love life. (pfft that is WHY i love life... muhahaha nobody to impress makes me feel fantastic and spiritual. oh yes, spiritual.)
our last few days have been doorknocking... the old folks home on tuesday was rather poor, we did 'work' by raking 13 leaves and throwing trash into a river. we didn't get to pray for anyone so that was a bummer... but it was still a fun day. we watched night at the museum 2 for our monday night off... it was pretty decent. i had some laughs. we got some quotes. success. but doorknocking! this new area we are in is super.... good isn't the right word, mebe its open. yessure, open. the first day we did a quick prayer at one house, then the next house we met a woman named cosum, who has a really cool testimony (involving healing and finding Christ through ways hindu's normally do.. sooolid) and is involved in a scary marriage that she is trying to get out of... (perfectly justified, let me tell you...) so we encouraged her to flee to her kids in suva so hopefully she does that this weekend.. we talked a lot and prayed a lot with her and really felt the spirit work. she made us lunch. it was fried rice. it was the best ever...
then today amini (pretty much entirely in fijian) lead a methodist dude to salvation... he talked in english a few times to clue us in at what he was saying but it was just really cool to see him be lead by the spirit and say just the right things to james who was really wanting and ready for it. (the methodists here do not believe in the spirit and are very very religious.. ie: no noise in church, while praying or no music during worship... ssssssssssssstupid) but it was sweet to finally see someone come to know God.
other'n that... pretty much 2 weeks left. gonna miss the crap out of fiji.. its become very familiar and leaving (while parts of me will be relieved (the rashy bits... flippin... rashy bits...)) will be hard. no time to think like that though, there's a whole 'nother day of door knocking tomorrow! then PRIMAL. so good. i miss loud noisy youth groups. the youth are quiet but the music is loud... hopefully we can get a whole bunch of strangers to come. happy birthday!
6.07.2009
twosday
nah.. saturday. wait! and friday. nah i already told you friday. how about... just saturday. weeeee... didn't do much. went to pedro's house to make roti (kinda like indian tacos... really good) so that primal could sell them in the evening. we didn't do that with them but we heard they were all sold... all morning i really didn't do anything at all. i cut some potatoes, and had a mid-morning nap as well as post mid-morning nap doze. solid buisness this missionary thing... the girls did help though and they loved it. the afternoon was street ministry which i instantly grew to dislike, party because any fijian we talk too was already a christian, / going up an starting a conversation with an indian fellow about his beliefs was something easier accomplished by door knocking. so it was a hard afternoon, until this awesome dude named aaron came an started talking to me lucas an alicia... he used to be a hindu but God told him to go to church in a dream an he went, go prayed for and a giant weight was lifted off of him an he received Christ immediately.. it was so good to meet someone who had actually gone through this... so encouraging. that was pretty much our saturday.. at night one of sammy's friends wanted me to give him a tattoo so i did... it wasn't nearly as long as sammy's but it was just as fun and it was easier since it was my second time... i just wish i had quality gun an ink an stuff but whatever... its fiji.. laid back with no worries. i love it.
this morning we went to an anglican church... all i can say is that it was like a catholic church combined with a pentecostal church... it was interesting but i doubt very much i'll ever go back to another one. i'm not really .. enjoying church... ours is pretty sweet but anything overly traditional / overly denominational really just turns me off. i like sinners better. i get to talk when i'm with them.. i mean we are all sinners, buuuut... i like witnessing better than receiving. yeah. we go to our church in about an hour so i'll get my spiritual food there. and hopefully the bible... stupid non-disciplined self... i'm gettin there. more tattoos please
this morning we went to an anglican church... all i can say is that it was like a catholic church combined with a pentecostal church... it was interesting but i doubt very much i'll ever go back to another one. i'm not really .. enjoying church... ours is pretty sweet but anything overly traditional / overly denominational really just turns me off. i like sinners better. i get to talk when i'm with them.. i mean we are all sinners, buuuut... i like witnessing better than receiving. yeah. we go to our church in about an hour so i'll get my spiritual food there. and hopefully the bible... stupid non-disciplined self... i'm gettin there. more tattoos please
6.05.2009
groundhog day
not really...
when did i last post? i haven't the slightest. it was probably sunday. yes... twas sunday. which means today is friday, which means i have a whole week to catch you up on. k.
monday... day off. we saw fighting. absolutely the best movie i've seen in 5 years. in no way did i develop a stereotype that southern wrestlers that move to new york are at least 5% slower in the brain than normal mid-west -> northern -> west coast people are. the plot was completely amazing and original and the acting was the best i've seen since... well frankly it blew my socks off. never will i remember a better movie than fighting. channing tatum is clearly in movies for more than his pecks.
tuesday... we had $10 and two hours to bless someone in lautoka. my team involving me, jess, and nik trecked out in search of the needy, and stumbled upon a broken man sitting next to a building begging. we bought him a loaf of bread and a drink and prayed for him and moved on.. it felt good. we then thought of trying to find fresh flowers which apparently don't exist for purchasing in fiji so we settled for fake ones that looked pretty sweet and gave them to women and told them they were special, that God loved them and to have a good day. cliche, but felt flippin fantastic. we also prayed for a few people and one dude was paralyzed but open for healing, and at one point in the prayer i realized i was sick of asking God to heal people and thought that i should just tell him to stand up. like the disciples would do. this was the second time this has happened and the second time i have failed to say so. so we moved on... he was grateful but just as wheelchair stuck as when we began. got to listen to those leadings... nothing much more happened with our other loaf of bread and for team night we bought ourselves some icecream and had a glorious quiet time.
wednesday... the worst day of doorknocking by far. even though it was very successful in a way (6-7 homes!) with a lot of prayer for a lot of fijian christians, but the neighborhood we were in felt so hopeless and lost... we got rejected a lot as well and so the depression clung to me like no other. it sucked.. but hopefully our presence lit it up a bit, as well as the people we encouraged. i think indians are sometimes more open than fijians. but it was a good learning experience...
thursday... was a follow up day beginning with a light chiding from father george, telling us we need to be more focused on our mission rather than the games we play (because the game of hearts the previous night was kinda bitter in retrospect as most of us were pretty depressed from the day) to which came the realization i never read my bible and that sucks. so, game on, spirit back on track with conviction from a good word. the woman we went to see was not home, but we met her neighbor and talked with her for an hour and a half. it was enjoyable! she was a hindu but man did she believe in the same philosophies.. she'd be a wicked loving christian. later that evening i gave someone a tattoo.
today... f f f f f friday... we went to an old folks home and did some skits which was very embarrassing when nobody laughs but very humbling and later they told us how touched they were anyways so it was all good. we prayed for a lot of old people and we are definitely excited to go back next tuesday. then we had lunch at pastor michaels house ate until the room spun.. and i had a coffee and enjoyed it as much as i enjoy a beer nowadays and it was a fantastic afternoon. tonight is primal and i'm sharing my testimony and hopefully i won't poop myself on stage.
what? tattoo? oh yes. i pray for opportunities and the lord provideth. sammy asked me to draw a tattoo of his girlfriends name for his chest, which i had done the previous week when he asked me. the girls talked him out of it and so i quickly drew his backup plan ' only God can judge me '. little thug for my liking, but i'm not to judge, via the truth now inked on his back. went through a few designs (old english, cursive) but in the end we decided on my graffiti/cursive which i adore and now he adores upon his skin. it took awhile to draw it on paper, then draw it on his back, so by the time we were ready to needle it up it was about 11 pm i think... nah earlier but who cares. i was so ready... the machine was really crudely made from a pen attached to a motor and the needle was a sharpened guitar string... sketchy as, but i worked. i had to paint ink onto him, then buzz the needle into the ink into his skin. it was fascinating... everyone was watching and it was probably a lot of pressure but i was far to excited to notice... it was so amazing. lucas had to drop the flashlight he was holding for me cuz he was about to faint which was pretty amazing, but i actually didn't even feel queezy at all even though needles and blood usually get to me. hmm... i think God wanted me for something... i can't believe i've even gotten a tattoo before, just seeing the skin split open as the ink went in.. flip, i can't believe i've given someone a tattoo now... it was so fun. took only about an hour, but the needle was super thin so the whole thing is super thin and spidery but seeing it healed a lot today made me super confident cuz a lot of it was straight and the only screw ups i can cover up when i thicken it later. it was a lot of pain for sammy but this was the first tattoo he'd gotten sober so he enjoyed it far more. i'm very happy and proud of myself, cuz it looks pretty sweet. i'd show you a pic, but you'know.. eventually yah? cool. muhahahhahaha.
when did i last post? i haven't the slightest. it was probably sunday. yes... twas sunday. which means today is friday, which means i have a whole week to catch you up on. k.
monday... day off. we saw fighting. absolutely the best movie i've seen in 5 years. in no way did i develop a stereotype that southern wrestlers that move to new york are at least 5% slower in the brain than normal mid-west -> northern -> west coast people are. the plot was completely amazing and original and the acting was the best i've seen since... well frankly it blew my socks off. never will i remember a better movie than fighting. channing tatum is clearly in movies for more than his pecks.
tuesday... we had $10 and two hours to bless someone in lautoka. my team involving me, jess, and nik trecked out in search of the needy, and stumbled upon a broken man sitting next to a building begging. we bought him a loaf of bread and a drink and prayed for him and moved on.. it felt good. we then thought of trying to find fresh flowers which apparently don't exist for purchasing in fiji so we settled for fake ones that looked pretty sweet and gave them to women and told them they were special, that God loved them and to have a good day. cliche, but felt flippin fantastic. we also prayed for a few people and one dude was paralyzed but open for healing, and at one point in the prayer i realized i was sick of asking God to heal people and thought that i should just tell him to stand up. like the disciples would do. this was the second time this has happened and the second time i have failed to say so. so we moved on... he was grateful but just as wheelchair stuck as when we began. got to listen to those leadings... nothing much more happened with our other loaf of bread and for team night we bought ourselves some icecream and had a glorious quiet time.
wednesday... the worst day of doorknocking by far. even though it was very successful in a way (6-7 homes!) with a lot of prayer for a lot of fijian christians, but the neighborhood we were in felt so hopeless and lost... we got rejected a lot as well and so the depression clung to me like no other. it sucked.. but hopefully our presence lit it up a bit, as well as the people we encouraged. i think indians are sometimes more open than fijians. but it was a good learning experience...
thursday... was a follow up day beginning with a light chiding from father george, telling us we need to be more focused on our mission rather than the games we play (because the game of hearts the previous night was kinda bitter in retrospect as most of us were pretty depressed from the day) to which came the realization i never read my bible and that sucks. so, game on, spirit back on track with conviction from a good word. the woman we went to see was not home, but we met her neighbor and talked with her for an hour and a half. it was enjoyable! she was a hindu but man did she believe in the same philosophies.. she'd be a wicked loving christian. later that evening i gave someone a tattoo.
today... f f f f f friday... we went to an old folks home and did some skits which was very embarrassing when nobody laughs but very humbling and later they told us how touched they were anyways so it was all good. we prayed for a lot of old people and we are definitely excited to go back next tuesday. then we had lunch at pastor michaels house ate until the room spun.. and i had a coffee and enjoyed it as much as i enjoy a beer nowadays and it was a fantastic afternoon. tonight is primal and i'm sharing my testimony and hopefully i won't poop myself on stage.
what? tattoo? oh yes. i pray for opportunities and the lord provideth. sammy asked me to draw a tattoo of his girlfriends name for his chest, which i had done the previous week when he asked me. the girls talked him out of it and so i quickly drew his backup plan ' only God can judge me '. little thug for my liking, but i'm not to judge, via the truth now inked on his back. went through a few designs (old english, cursive) but in the end we decided on my graffiti/cursive which i adore and now he adores upon his skin. it took awhile to draw it on paper, then draw it on his back, so by the time we were ready to needle it up it was about 11 pm i think... nah earlier but who cares. i was so ready... the machine was really crudely made from a pen attached to a motor and the needle was a sharpened guitar string... sketchy as, but i worked. i had to paint ink onto him, then buzz the needle into the ink into his skin. it was fascinating... everyone was watching and it was probably a lot of pressure but i was far to excited to notice... it was so amazing. lucas had to drop the flashlight he was holding for me cuz he was about to faint which was pretty amazing, but i actually didn't even feel queezy at all even though needles and blood usually get to me. hmm... i think God wanted me for something... i can't believe i've even gotten a tattoo before, just seeing the skin split open as the ink went in.. flip, i can't believe i've given someone a tattoo now... it was so fun. took only about an hour, but the needle was super thin so the whole thing is super thin and spidery but seeing it healed a lot today made me super confident cuz a lot of it was straight and the only screw ups i can cover up when i thicken it later. it was a lot of pain for sammy but this was the first tattoo he'd gotten sober so he enjoyed it far more. i'm very happy and proud of myself, cuz it looks pretty sweet. i'd show you a pic, but you'know.. eventually yah? cool. muhahahhahaha.
5.31.2009
sports day
the past few days have been the hottest of my life... let me tell you... pffft. 'winter' is ridiculous. i'm fairly sure i'd die in summer. fairly most positively sure. i'd just have to be naked all the time. and constantly running through sprinklers. which don't exist. so i'd just be a dead naked dude who tried to run through non-existent sprinklers. i'm glad God chose this time for me to be in fiji...
mmm what has happened... saw terminator... really really really liked it.. finally replaced my water bottle. (shut your mouth! SO a big deal.)... caught 4-5 frogs and 2 geckos... its been a good week.
lllater.
whoa, and on wednesday we did compound cleanup. thursday as well! it was 'hard' work. mainly we did yard work until our bosses brought us cookies and juice. night time was girls night group so we dudes went to town an played pool for a few hours... did i tell you about my icecream incident? i finally had culture shock. or selfish shock.. a kid asked me for my licked all over icecream. i said... no... i wanted it... then lucas gave the kid his. and i felt absolutely horrible. never have i felt more guilt for eating icecream.... serves me right. i just didnt' expect to be asked!! (in self defense context, the kid was playing pool and obviously wasn't in dire need of food... i shoulda just bought him his own. it was only 75 cents. but it was a gift. i had to eat it. plus... i feel like that woulda been a little like feeding the bears. maybe. or maybe i'm just trying to justify being a horrible individual. the point.. dont' ever ask me for my icecream.)
(major ps, celine dion is playing right now, and therefore i miss laura a ton. jef then gets missed by association, and THEREFORE i am homesick a little bit.)
and on thursday we did more of the same...
and on friday we had a sports day at the park! which started this whole... sunlight thing where my body starts pouring liquid from itself into my nice notsocleananymore absorbant cotton clothing. its the smell of love baby.... looove fiji. we played touch rugby for awhile... tried (oh so hard) to teach them ultimate, but fijians like to run too much whilst holding objects of sport. also, they dont' follow rules. at all.... it was frustrating but obviously their rejection of rules allows full acceptance of joy in whatever they play. so who really wins north america... who really wins... i say, it depends on the situation.
and on saturday... we... had LEYN. (lautoka empowering youth network) so it was pretty much a giant primal. the worship was amazing as per pastor eddy usual... they do this song, where they spell out Jesus name and then the chorus is just oooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO ooooooo but its pretty much the best pump up song i've ever participated in... so much fun. then this pastor came up and started preaching... i thought it was gonna be a 5 second intro into the evening program (which included 3 YWAM teams (ours, the other lautoka team from our base, and a batch from newcastle australia (who incidentally had chosen to do the lifehouse skit as well, to which we said we have nothing else so they conceded their skit into another one, but they also had a song 'how he loves us' which unfortunately we had been asked to play as well since jess does the most amazing job of it ever... it was really funny but really horrible. oh well.)) with at least 3 items each.) that had started at 7:30pm but he spoke for 45 minutes! he felt led by the spirit to do so, and did the nights second altar call to which about 25 out of 225 people came.. he was preaching about sin and why we shouldn't sin but his main, huge emphasis was that God, (finger points hugely into the crowd) HATES sinners. (to which our team dropped our jaws too... i had tuned out instantly and no longer regarded this man as a true man of God (though apparently he is a prophet... eh...)) after that shocker we weren't really feeling the spirit move as much but whatever... apparently a lot of people got something out of condemnation (also in context, we were told thats what fijians need. because they do not take sin seriously... in NA, people would walk out. in fiji, people get saved.) so after taking the time to adjust my attitude the program finally began at 9:45pm. with about... 150 people remaining. joes team did their thing first then the aussie team (who's skit was really funny to us but funnier to the fijians (it was the me me me skit) but meme in fijian means peepee... oh yes fiji appropriate!) who also had an altar call with a painfully long 15 minute worship solo session from one of their leaders. it was still cool to see someone give it their all though... then finally we did our lifehouse skit for about 50 people and had a good time doing it. we got told good things about it so we felt good. for what it was, the night was good but so sad for what it could have been... we just need more opportunities now. sigh. good things.
and today we had church, 6am prayer watching the sunrise, and dinner with some japanese students. week 3, begin!
mmm what has happened... saw terminator... really really really liked it.. finally replaced my water bottle. (shut your mouth! SO a big deal.)... caught 4-5 frogs and 2 geckos... its been a good week.
lllater.
whoa, and on wednesday we did compound cleanup. thursday as well! it was 'hard' work. mainly we did yard work until our bosses brought us cookies and juice. night time was girls night group so we dudes went to town an played pool for a few hours... did i tell you about my icecream incident? i finally had culture shock. or selfish shock.. a kid asked me for my licked all over icecream. i said... no... i wanted it... then lucas gave the kid his. and i felt absolutely horrible. never have i felt more guilt for eating icecream.... serves me right. i just didnt' expect to be asked!! (in self defense context, the kid was playing pool and obviously wasn't in dire need of food... i shoulda just bought him his own. it was only 75 cents. but it was a gift. i had to eat it. plus... i feel like that woulda been a little like feeding the bears. maybe. or maybe i'm just trying to justify being a horrible individual. the point.. dont' ever ask me for my icecream.)
(major ps, celine dion is playing right now, and therefore i miss laura a ton. jef then gets missed by association, and THEREFORE i am homesick a little bit.)
and on thursday we did more of the same...
and on friday we had a sports day at the park! which started this whole... sunlight thing where my body starts pouring liquid from itself into my nice notsocleananymore absorbant cotton clothing. its the smell of love baby.... looove fiji. we played touch rugby for awhile... tried (oh so hard) to teach them ultimate, but fijians like to run too much whilst holding objects of sport. also, they dont' follow rules. at all.... it was frustrating but obviously their rejection of rules allows full acceptance of joy in whatever they play. so who really wins north america... who really wins... i say, it depends on the situation.
and on saturday... we... had LEYN. (lautoka empowering youth network) so it was pretty much a giant primal. the worship was amazing as per pastor eddy usual... they do this song, where they spell out Jesus name and then the chorus is just oooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOO ooooooo but its pretty much the best pump up song i've ever participated in... so much fun. then this pastor came up and started preaching... i thought it was gonna be a 5 second intro into the evening program (which included 3 YWAM teams (ours, the other lautoka team from our base, and a batch from newcastle australia (who incidentally had chosen to do the lifehouse skit as well, to which we said we have nothing else so they conceded their skit into another one, but they also had a song 'how he loves us' which unfortunately we had been asked to play as well since jess does the most amazing job of it ever... it was really funny but really horrible. oh well.)) with at least 3 items each.) that had started at 7:30pm but he spoke for 45 minutes! he felt led by the spirit to do so, and did the nights second altar call to which about 25 out of 225 people came.. he was preaching about sin and why we shouldn't sin but his main, huge emphasis was that God, (finger points hugely into the crowd) HATES sinners. (to which our team dropped our jaws too... i had tuned out instantly and no longer regarded this man as a true man of God (though apparently he is a prophet... eh...)) after that shocker we weren't really feeling the spirit move as much but whatever... apparently a lot of people got something out of condemnation (also in context, we were told thats what fijians need. because they do not take sin seriously... in NA, people would walk out. in fiji, people get saved.) so after taking the time to adjust my attitude the program finally began at 9:45pm. with about... 150 people remaining. joes team did their thing first then the aussie team (who's skit was really funny to us but funnier to the fijians (it was the me me me skit) but meme in fijian means peepee... oh yes fiji appropriate!) who also had an altar call with a painfully long 15 minute worship solo session from one of their leaders. it was still cool to see someone give it their all though... then finally we did our lifehouse skit for about 50 people and had a good time doing it. we got told good things about it so we felt good. for what it was, the night was good but so sad for what it could have been... we just need more opportunities now. sigh. good things.
and today we had church, 6am prayer watching the sunrise, and dinner with some japanese students. week 3, begin!
5.25.2009
day off
mmmmmmmonday... and winter. winter in fiji is like... a summer night in calgary. its not cold, but its not crazy hot either. in the shade at least. if yesterday was sunday.... then i went to church yesterday and had a great time. the worship was really really anointed and we could definitely feel the spirit moving.... loved it. the message was cut short because worship went so long... our team played one song (how he loves us... ohhhhh how he loves us) and really kicked butt... jess sounded pretty much like an angel.. they were gonna play 'the sound of melodies' by leeland as well but we got cut off because time... (i thought we were on fiji time but apparently sometimes they choose to be western) but who cares! it was thunderstorming during it as well so that was pretty cool... pretty loud... hmm.
so today is our first day off since we got here. it hasn't been super intense like they said it was going to be, but thats ok because it's had its challenges and it definitely took a few days to get used to the heat. but now its all good! the guys went cliff diving and me'n the ladies saw slumdog millionaire (its just as good the second time...). we were all gonna go to the beach but it wasn't sunny out so it didn't seem like as awesome of a time as it could have been. and i hate jumping off cliffs. so i decided it'd be better to forfeit my manhood for a day. and get some internet time hooray!! its weird because being on here feels like i'm back in normal life then i step outside and realize i'm in fiji... its random. felt the same way after the movie. were all gonna have dinner together and then come back and see star trek tonight... mmmmmm should be good. i think next day off we'll see terminator... cuz i've been waiting 6 years for it and everyone else loves the trailer so done and done. too bad nobody is ambitious as i am... i'd watch all 3 in a day. movies are cheap... muhahaha.
this week we've got some more door knocking, but then on wednesday and thursday were gonna do more cleaning work and stuff from houses we've already visited and wanted us to come back and help around the compound... building relationships... then friday is a public holiday so we are gonna hang out at the park with the youth group (which is called primal, which we had our first experience with last friday, which was amazing, which is good cuz we need amazing to be pumped for more amazing things) and play some touch or soccer and maybe i'll introduce them to a little game called ultimate... hopefully. either way its lookin like a good week. yay and amen!
so today is our first day off since we got here. it hasn't been super intense like they said it was going to be, but thats ok because it's had its challenges and it definitely took a few days to get used to the heat. but now its all good! the guys went cliff diving and me'n the ladies saw slumdog millionaire (its just as good the second time...). we were all gonna go to the beach but it wasn't sunny out so it didn't seem like as awesome of a time as it could have been. and i hate jumping off cliffs. so i decided it'd be better to forfeit my manhood for a day. and get some internet time hooray!! its weird because being on here feels like i'm back in normal life then i step outside and realize i'm in fiji... its random. felt the same way after the movie. were all gonna have dinner together and then come back and see star trek tonight... mmmmmm should be good. i think next day off we'll see terminator... cuz i've been waiting 6 years for it and everyone else loves the trailer so done and done. too bad nobody is ambitious as i am... i'd watch all 3 in a day. movies are cheap... muhahaha.
this week we've got some more door knocking, but then on wednesday and thursday were gonna do more cleaning work and stuff from houses we've already visited and wanted us to come back and help around the compound... building relationships... then friday is a public holiday so we are gonna hang out at the park with the youth group (which is called primal, which we had our first experience with last friday, which was amazing, which is good cuz we need amazing to be pumped for more amazing things) and play some touch or soccer and maybe i'll introduce them to a little game called ultimate... hopefully. either way its lookin like a good week. yay and amen!
5.23.2009
quicklike now uh?! day!
fiji would be a good place to come if you like sweat and black people. and indian people. now i happen to like all 3 (not like i didn't before (ooooo you thought i was a racist! you freaking box-putter-inner!)) a lot. i'm having a really good.. challenging time. door knocking has been pretty alright... nobody has healed any blind men (though we have tried) and nobody has come to Christ, but we have been building relationships and trying. its been fun... i've definitely come out of my shell a little in terms of initiating conversation but i count it as a blessing when we get rejected. only one athiest we've run into but it was one of the funnest conversations ever because it reminded me of home... everyone else here is mighty spiritual. i wanna write a ton... but i'm not going too. not until anything MAJOR happens... but keep praying. i'm learning a lot. but i haven't the time to explain it all... i'm keeping a journal for the first time in my life so i can write up a storm when the resources are available. fiji rules.
5.18.2009
the haps day
oh yes. the haps.
the flight an everything was really sweet.. actually it was really average. but i always love going on a 747 so that was pretty special. traveling with a group of people is always really enjoyable too.. minus terminal walking and stuff and looking out for slow people / wandery people... independence is where that is at. still solid though... once we got to fiji things started to go wrong right away though. for some reason rasa's visa wasn't on the same level as ours and wasn't acceptable, so we had to pay $95 to get her into the country, no big deal but still sucky. what is worse than all of that though is our ability to stay in the country... apparently we weren't supposed to say we were coming here for missions and because of that our visas didn't work or something... they stamped us in but only for 2 weeks. so i think today is the day it all gets taken care of (its no biggy... we prayed straight away an i'm pretty sure God is gonna allow us to stay. flippin satan... bein a buggar cuz he knows we area threat) so that was a pretty stressful beginning to our fiji trip.
things are pretty solid now though... we are staying with an awesome family in lautoka, we met the church yesterday and they are also really solid. and we keep running into joe's team who is also in lautoka so that is pretty fun. we hadn't even been separated more than 24 hours but it was still a rush to see familiar faces.. fiji is hot. its considered a 3rd world country and i see some aspects of it, but its not too bad. its not like we are living in slums or anything like that... it's probably a nicer neighborhood but we still shouldn't be walking around by ourselves or at night. lots of houses are compounds and have barbed wire fences all over... and there are dogs everywhere. not so much in the street, but if one starts barking the whole neighborhood goes. our family is amazing though.. a little one year old named jere, 9 year old junior (george), 12 year old daughter tali and another son i think around our age. george and his wife rachel take pretty good care of us... its not so much culture shock for me as it is 'be cautious of what you do' shock.. i don't want to make anyone upset at my lack of manners for somethings. just a lot of differences with our culture, but life is still life. food is amaaaazing... so far, its only been two days so i'm still waiting for when i have to grimace.
were gonna be working a lot in the indian community (at least door knocking) and that starts tomorrow morning! we just bought all our sulus and bula's today so were gonna look full on missionary tomorrow. we ran into joe an them at the shop as well. surprises... i have so little time on here and pictures will have to wait for a free day when we aren't just getting supplies and letting people know we got here ok.
mom'n dad, if you need to call me call the base in NZ and they will get you the number for where i'm staying, buuuut.... probably only if it is an emergency. otherwise i wont' talk to you or anyone else for 6 weeks. email will be slow too, mebe if i'm lucky once a week. same as this! i'll gather some stories and pick out some good ones to share... still really excited, not as sweaty as i thought, and really happy to be here. pray for us!
the flight an everything was really sweet.. actually it was really average. but i always love going on a 747 so that was pretty special. traveling with a group of people is always really enjoyable too.. minus terminal walking and stuff and looking out for slow people / wandery people... independence is where that is at. still solid though... once we got to fiji things started to go wrong right away though. for some reason rasa's visa wasn't on the same level as ours and wasn't acceptable, so we had to pay $95 to get her into the country, no big deal but still sucky. what is worse than all of that though is our ability to stay in the country... apparently we weren't supposed to say we were coming here for missions and because of that our visas didn't work or something... they stamped us in but only for 2 weeks. so i think today is the day it all gets taken care of (its no biggy... we prayed straight away an i'm pretty sure God is gonna allow us to stay. flippin satan... bein a buggar cuz he knows we area threat) so that was a pretty stressful beginning to our fiji trip.
things are pretty solid now though... we are staying with an awesome family in lautoka, we met the church yesterday and they are also really solid. and we keep running into joe's team who is also in lautoka so that is pretty fun. we hadn't even been separated more than 24 hours but it was still a rush to see familiar faces.. fiji is hot. its considered a 3rd world country and i see some aspects of it, but its not too bad. its not like we are living in slums or anything like that... it's probably a nicer neighborhood but we still shouldn't be walking around by ourselves or at night. lots of houses are compounds and have barbed wire fences all over... and there are dogs everywhere. not so much in the street, but if one starts barking the whole neighborhood goes. our family is amazing though.. a little one year old named jere, 9 year old junior (george), 12 year old daughter tali and another son i think around our age. george and his wife rachel take pretty good care of us... its not so much culture shock for me as it is 'be cautious of what you do' shock.. i don't want to make anyone upset at my lack of manners for somethings. just a lot of differences with our culture, but life is still life. food is amaaaazing... so far, its only been two days so i'm still waiting for when i have to grimace.
were gonna be working a lot in the indian community (at least door knocking) and that starts tomorrow morning! we just bought all our sulus and bula's today so were gonna look full on missionary tomorrow. we ran into joe an them at the shop as well. surprises... i have so little time on here and pictures will have to wait for a free day when we aren't just getting supplies and letting people know we got here ok.
mom'n dad, if you need to call me call the base in NZ and they will get you the number for where i'm staying, buuuut.... probably only if it is an emergency. otherwise i wont' talk to you or anyone else for 6 weeks. email will be slow too, mebe if i'm lucky once a week. same as this! i'll gather some stories and pick out some good ones to share... still really excited, not as sweaty as i thought, and really happy to be here. pray for us!
5.15.2009
cadbury has stock in the word day
we leave in less than 20ish hours. ohhhh boy. tis gonna be a grand flight... then a wall of 95-97% humidity when we get off the plane. i'm gonna feel nasty for about 3 weeks, then i'll get used to it. maybe even happy with it. but i'm gonna be sweaty and gross for 3 weeks. disgusting (french accent.)
the last 2-3 days have been amazing... on wednesday we headed out to raglan for a night, while the muso's DID go and record their songs. literally 5 minutes before we had the meeting to say they were officially not gonna record they got a phone call saying it was back on. sooo cool... so anyways me lucas kristen an jacob headed to raglan an hooked up with pete and chantal, an amazing south african couple who left their very successful life in SA to come to new zealand and serve on the lowest level at a kids camp.. they are such amazing humble prophetic people, they were so encouraging... we met them last time we came to raglan, but this time we stayed at their house. we actually didn't even surf at all... we left their house once to go eat supper with them at the kids camp. we watched movies, ate amazing food, talked for hours, stayed up late, slept in (all the way to 8 am WOOO!) it was so relaxing and needed before fiji. tomorrow. muhahhaa. were all packed up, i'm already wearing the clothes i'm wearing to the airport and will be stripping off as soon as i get off the plane.. its all excitement. i think we are having steak for supper... then a going away to outreach party. i think a few of them might cry, which in return will probably make me cry... man. man man man. God. man. fiji is gonna be unreal. i don't know what else to say... i'm sure i'll have stories in very few days. hopefully the internet cafe is within walking distance so i can upload all my pics as well. sigh. pray.
the last 2-3 days have been amazing... on wednesday we headed out to raglan for a night, while the muso's DID go and record their songs. literally 5 minutes before we had the meeting to say they were officially not gonna record they got a phone call saying it was back on. sooo cool... so anyways me lucas kristen an jacob headed to raglan an hooked up with pete and chantal, an amazing south african couple who left their very successful life in SA to come to new zealand and serve on the lowest level at a kids camp.. they are such amazing humble prophetic people, they were so encouraging... we met them last time we came to raglan, but this time we stayed at their house. we actually didn't even surf at all... we left their house once to go eat supper with them at the kids camp. we watched movies, ate amazing food, talked for hours, stayed up late, slept in (all the way to 8 am WOOO!) it was so relaxing and needed before fiji. tomorrow. muhahhaa. were all packed up, i'm already wearing the clothes i'm wearing to the airport and will be stripping off as soon as i get off the plane.. its all excitement. i think we are having steak for supper... then a going away to outreach party. i think a few of them might cry, which in return will probably make me cry... man. man man man. God. man. fiji is gonna be unreal. i don't know what else to say... i'm sure i'll have stories in very few days. hopefully the internet cafe is within walking distance so i can upload all my pics as well. sigh. pray.
5.12.2009
wrenches day....
fully crap cookies... kinda. not really. more an answer... but not an answer to prayer. yeah. but enough about me, poor jake! first week as dts leader and gets a pile of nothing good thrown his way... but he's takin it like a pro. and we love him, so we support him whatever the decision. but me oh my... i need to pray more. i'm totally unsettled about coming home to school now, but not fully confident on staying here either. both are uncertain. both are entirely possible. either would be amazing for me. i just need to discern which one is the one God wants me to go for.... normally i wouldn't be sharing these intimate details of my mental life, but.. i must write it out to properly see. actually no, i'm not going to. it'll stay in my head. if you pray, pray for my direction. the real issue lies in my own decision making... do i really need a BFA to be a 'painter'? or do i really need to staff a dts to dive into missions? both are no, but i can justify either, because i am adaptable and pretty much am happy anywhere, but i just want to be where i am USED the most for God. and again, i think BOTH are a good option. i'm too flippin content... i need doors to open and close so i can see better. but in other news....
steve kumar was our speaker for two days... he wrote 'christianity for skeptics' and probably a few others.. he has an amazing personal testimony and tons of experience debating and defending christianity... so it was a really really solid week of learning and i really wish we coulda had like... 4 weeks with him instead of just 2 days. anyways, he's a hero.
yesterday and today was packing/cleaning day... our rooms are all clean, bags packed for fiji, even though we don't leave until saturday. still i love packing so it was a joy. mmmmm. we were only allowed to pack 12 kilos for fiji, and i fit it all in my little bag and had it packed at 8.5 kilos. thats like... 2 shirts.. 2 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of underwear, and other random things *cough*frisbee*cough* but small enough to have packed like a MAN. chyeah. its an exciting week... surfing tomorrow, and hopefully i won't die. same with the day after. then come back thursday for a going away party, then all day friday question session about fiji from some 'experts'... even though i literally have no questions. nor does anyone else. so i'm hoping it'll turn into a cuddle day or something fun like that. stress stress stress. i think i'm gonna get one more entry in before we go, so savour it. bahaha. if you must.... i'm not sad, i'm just ready. always...
PRAY
steve kumar was our speaker for two days... he wrote 'christianity for skeptics' and probably a few others.. he has an amazing personal testimony and tons of experience debating and defending christianity... so it was a really really solid week of learning and i really wish we coulda had like... 4 weeks with him instead of just 2 days. anyways, he's a hero.
yesterday and today was packing/cleaning day... our rooms are all clean, bags packed for fiji, even though we don't leave until saturday. still i love packing so it was a joy. mmmmm. we were only allowed to pack 12 kilos for fiji, and i fit it all in my little bag and had it packed at 8.5 kilos. thats like... 2 shirts.. 2 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of underwear, and other random things *cough*frisbee*cough* but small enough to have packed like a MAN. chyeah. its an exciting week... surfing tomorrow, and hopefully i won't die. same with the day after. then come back thursday for a going away party, then all day friday question session about fiji from some 'experts'... even though i literally have no questions. nor does anyone else. so i'm hoping it'll turn into a cuddle day or something fun like that. stress stress stress. i think i'm gonna get one more entry in before we go, so savour it. bahaha. if you must.... i'm not sad, i'm just ready. always...
PRAY
5.10.2009
mothers day ye say?!
happy mothers day mom! i'll call you later on i'm sure. dad called me today but i was in ROHAN climbing with tyler(husband), anna-rose(wife), and alana. it was a good time climbing in the rain and only successfully climbing one wall. the one i tried was a grade 18 25 meter climb and i was about 3/4 up the wall lead climbing but then as i was about to clip in i slipped and fell 20 feet down, so as exhausted as i was i couldn't get back up to where i was. such a good climb though. i felt amazing. i feel amazing. after climbing is when i feel my rest. SUCH rest and peace... i friggen love it.
i have a cool story. i know i mentioned tara in an earlier post from one of our hamilton evangelism trips, and how i prayed for her feet. (once with me'n sylvia and once with annie) anyways! she ran up to a group of us last night asking where i was, then continued to say that her feet were all better and she could actually wear shoes and get around now, and that she needed more prayer for God to show her direction and if she should stay in hamilton and whatnot... so while my team did nothing (its ok... we had cookies to give out but everybody knew enough not to take cookies from a stranger, / they only wanted them if they had anything 'exciting' in them. Jesus wasn't exciting enough.) this was a real encouragement to me and ah... i just feel so good now.
we have 2 more days of lectures, tomorrow an tuesday with steve kumar, all about apologetics. its gonna be amazing, and i'm really lookin forward to all the learning. i wish we would had a whole week with him, but thats ok. i think were cleaning the base tomorrow and getting ready for fiji... craziness. like... 6 days.... then the blogging becomes less. but more jam packed! cuz i've got nothing right now. i'm too mellow. too happy. too contented. talk to me tomorrow when i'm all frantic and stirred up about my faith. chyeah.
i have a cool story. i know i mentioned tara in an earlier post from one of our hamilton evangelism trips, and how i prayed for her feet. (once with me'n sylvia and once with annie) anyways! she ran up to a group of us last night asking where i was, then continued to say that her feet were all better and she could actually wear shoes and get around now, and that she needed more prayer for God to show her direction and if she should stay in hamilton and whatnot... so while my team did nothing (its ok... we had cookies to give out but everybody knew enough not to take cookies from a stranger, / they only wanted them if they had anything 'exciting' in them. Jesus wasn't exciting enough.) this was a real encouragement to me and ah... i just feel so good now.
we have 2 more days of lectures, tomorrow an tuesday with steve kumar, all about apologetics. its gonna be amazing, and i'm really lookin forward to all the learning. i wish we would had a whole week with him, but thats ok. i think were cleaning the base tomorrow and getting ready for fiji... craziness. like... 6 days.... then the blogging becomes less. but more jam packed! cuz i've got nothing right now. i'm too mellow. too happy. too contented. talk to me tomorrow when i'm all frantic and stirred up about my faith. chyeah.
5.07.2009
mmm fresh internet day
such a nice tagline. eh? eh? internet is NEVER fresh!!! sarcasm, unite!
i'm all hopped up on tea and loving it. today was the hardest day of fasting in my entire 4-5 doing fasting life! (its easier as a team... such appreciation) but d d d d d d dang! dinner prep is the absolute worst thing to happen whilst fasting. aside from a pie fight. b b b b b b b but still! (and i'm not saying i'm fasting to boast about how spiritual i am (however spiritual i may be muhahhahahha (just kidding (but seriously))) i just enjoy it as a discipline and enjoy the feeling i get when i don't need food but only Gods love. wash my face?! nay! i will sing praises instead.) supper prayer was solid as usual... nobody got thrown against the wall in the spirit like i wanted, but i probably should have asked for it instead of just fantasizing about it. oh well! no harm, no foul, no ask, no receive... s s s s s s s solid as!
this week has been pretty dandy. it hasn't been the craziest spiritual adventure of my life but it has still been an encouragement. were talking about heart transplant with goldie gibson (a fight'n 59 year old single woman with amazing promises and ability to run 11 kms every morning before a 3 hour lecture). transplanting our broken, blackened, bruised hearts for a better newer stronger heart. from GOD! oh suprises. its cool. nothing is instantaneous, its all a process, often in which we have to get ourselves into more pain to achieve a stronger heart. i forget all the thousand analogies she's used (i blame the tea) but i can assure you they are good enough to repeat at a later time when you are having a crap day i can drop on you like a hot log of encouraging po-FIRE! you thought i was gonna say poop. you assumer. (pffthehehehe.. ass..)
not a lot has actually happened since i last wrote (which has been neglected because... i'm busy yo! and i ran out of internet.) i've been making prayer bands for everyone on the dts... which means at least an hour or two of sewing and possibly more of stitching something into them. its well worth it for my creative presentation.. not a tattoo, but something to keep me focused on something i fully believe God will bring to fulfillment within my lifetime. i've committed to wearing it (minus greasy/sweaty situations) until my certain prayer comes to fruition. and when it does? slap another one on. i made one for everyone so we could all be bound together in prayer, especially for each other. i'm running out of fabric... but i only have 3 1/2 more to make before i'll be done all 25. my wrist hurts and i don't want to sew anymore but i STILL MUST because now it's an addiction and i love love love giving people things. 4 1/2... surprise ending one... muhahhaa. breakfast club was sick today. it was our last day but it was so fun.. i'm going to miss those maori kids.
almost done my painting in the prayer room... i'm at the stage where i could have finished it, but then went further with it ( i had too...) and now am not satisfied with it again, so lots of tinkering must be done. but hopefully it stands out an looks decent enough to get people inspired to pray... MAN i love praying. there was something else i was probably going to say.. but i forget. so i'll leave you with newly established quotes from one of the best family guy episodes we've witnessed together..
'i can't hear you!'
'nnnbutt scratchah?? mmmmbutt scratcha! nnnbutt scratchah!! (off in the distance) mmm butt scratcha!!'
'oh crap. (ensuing longest chicken fight ever)'
i know you are pleased with me.
erase erase erase.
i'm all hopped up on tea and loving it. today was the hardest day of fasting in my entire 4-5 doing fasting life! (its easier as a team... such appreciation) but d d d d d d dang! dinner prep is the absolute worst thing to happen whilst fasting. aside from a pie fight. b b b b b b b but still! (and i'm not saying i'm fasting to boast about how spiritual i am (however spiritual i may be muhahhahahha (just kidding (but seriously))) i just enjoy it as a discipline and enjoy the feeling i get when i don't need food but only Gods love. wash my face?! nay! i will sing praises instead.) supper prayer was solid as usual... nobody got thrown against the wall in the spirit like i wanted, but i probably should have asked for it instead of just fantasizing about it. oh well! no harm, no foul, no ask, no receive... s s s s s s s solid as!
this week has been pretty dandy. it hasn't been the craziest spiritual adventure of my life but it has still been an encouragement. were talking about heart transplant with goldie gibson (a fight'n 59 year old single woman with amazing promises and ability to run 11 kms every morning before a 3 hour lecture). transplanting our broken, blackened, bruised hearts for a better newer stronger heart. from GOD! oh suprises. its cool. nothing is instantaneous, its all a process, often in which we have to get ourselves into more pain to achieve a stronger heart. i forget all the thousand analogies she's used (i blame the tea) but i can assure you they are good enough to repeat at a later time when you are having a crap day i can drop on you like a hot log of encouraging po-FIRE! you thought i was gonna say poop. you assumer. (pffthehehehe.. ass..)
not a lot has actually happened since i last wrote (which has been neglected because... i'm busy yo! and i ran out of internet.) i've been making prayer bands for everyone on the dts... which means at least an hour or two of sewing and possibly more of stitching something into them. its well worth it for my creative presentation.. not a tattoo, but something to keep me focused on something i fully believe God will bring to fulfillment within my lifetime. i've committed to wearing it (minus greasy/sweaty situations) until my certain prayer comes to fruition. and when it does? slap another one on. i made one for everyone so we could all be bound together in prayer, especially for each other. i'm running out of fabric... but i only have 3 1/2 more to make before i'll be done all 25. my wrist hurts and i don't want to sew anymore but i STILL MUST because now it's an addiction and i love love love giving people things. 4 1/2... surprise ending one... muhahhaa. breakfast club was sick today. it was our last day but it was so fun.. i'm going to miss those maori kids.
almost done my painting in the prayer room... i'm at the stage where i could have finished it, but then went further with it ( i had too...) and now am not satisfied with it again, so lots of tinkering must be done. but hopefully it stands out an looks decent enough to get people inspired to pray... MAN i love praying. there was something else i was probably going to say.. but i forget. so i'll leave you with newly established quotes from one of the best family guy episodes we've witnessed together..
'i can't hear you!'
'nnnbutt scratchah?? mmmmbutt scratcha! nnnbutt scratchah!! (off in the distance) mmm butt scratcha!!'
'oh crap. (ensuing longest chicken fight ever)'
i know you are pleased with me.
erase erase erase.
5.03.2009
the skinny day
the alcoves...
whoooo free weekend! friday morning started off with renting a vehicle. solid as. THEN our last day with mal and having ministry... it was probably the craziest day ever. in combination with the previous night's prayer meeting... oh man. i won't say names but we had a manifestation (which he is claiming wasn't a manifestation... which has me very very confused and concerned) that took ten people to hold him down. it'd been a long time coming and through his confession that broke off something the night before he allowed himself to be touched (and maybe delivered... we aren't sure..)but not only through him but through other things... i think ji-won was finally set free. she saw an army of angels... iiiii think thats a pretty solid sign of good things happening.
so after our crazy morning we went to town, got our rental vehicles, and had a horridly frustrating late afternoon with people dropping out of our plans and me not being able to get ahold of alana to make plans and everything frustrating... it was nasty. but the girls were going to stephs town for a girls night, so we boys were takin the rental van an we headed to hamilton for some bowling. (i finally got ahold of alana on the last try before we left, an we agreed to meet in cambridge at 10 for some fun.) we were gonna go see a movie, but since we had a time crunch we ended up just bowling and we all sucked. but it was good... an to be in hamilton as well as cambridge and just chillin. we met up with alana an her friend naomi (who chris knew, so it was automatically not awkward (as i met up with the girls, the other 7 boys (minus john-mark cuz he is addicted to skateboarding..) were hooding it up on the steps in the dark awkwardly ten feet away from us... but then chris stood up an was all 'naomi? what?')) an we decided to head over to the capernwray school to hang out. which was awesome! cuz all 8 boys had new people to talk too, and i knew another girl there from calgary, and another few people with mutual laura an jef an jeff friends.. it was sweet. we had a good night (though i don't think the capernwray boys much cared for us... eee awkward...) and headed home to sleep.
saturday morning! we took off for rotorua around... 9:30. ish. we were late. i lie... we left later. it doesn't matter. rotorua is only an hour away so we got there and met up with pete, our rafting guide. there was a massive marathon going on (apparently the biggest one in NZ each year) so the 15 minute drive took 45 minutes... but it was all good cuz it was a small rafting company and rafting companies are chill to begin with so a small one was even more-so. rafting last summer in colorado was amazing, and really fast, but this one wasn't as fast but ohhh man there were water falls... there was a 3 meter fall to begin with, then one meter, then a 7 meter fall to cap it off about halfway through the fun. i was actually really nervous for it but it was probably one of the most fun experiences of my life (which i somehow forgot from colorado (how can you forget that?!)) and it was short but sweet, an the pics are amazing so eventually you will see. we found a pretty cool $9 a person hostel ish place to camp at (or... $4.50 a person if only the boys sleep in the tent muhahaha shhh tell no one.) then we went an saw fast & furious... it was ok but what was more than ok was relaxing and seeing a movie after not having seen one in almost 3 months. but seriously it was such a good night. today was just as good, though we were pretty dried up on spending money, so all the cool thermal volcano tourist traps we wanted to go too were far too expensive so we ended up doing a tiny hike which turned into adventuring which turned into finding a pathway to the waterfall base where nobody else was. we felt special and took a lot of pictures. then we went home, had some icecream, and became exhausted. sooo tired.... in my frugality i bought only a loaf of some bread, peanut butter and a kg of golden kiwi, so i had that for 3 meals. so .. good? yeah. under $10 wins everytime. did you know you can just eat the skin off of a golden kiwi? cuz i do now, and i do and i enjoy. mmmmmm
goodt.
ps, the terminator salvation trailor gave me the movie chills. i am really excited for it.
whoooo free weekend! friday morning started off with renting a vehicle. solid as. THEN our last day with mal and having ministry... it was probably the craziest day ever. in combination with the previous night's prayer meeting... oh man. i won't say names but we had a manifestation (which he is claiming wasn't a manifestation... which has me very very confused and concerned) that took ten people to hold him down. it'd been a long time coming and through his confession that broke off something the night before he allowed himself to be touched (and maybe delivered... we aren't sure..)but not only through him but through other things... i think ji-won was finally set free. she saw an army of angels... iiiii think thats a pretty solid sign of good things happening.
so after our crazy morning we went to town, got our rental vehicles, and had a horridly frustrating late afternoon with people dropping out of our plans and me not being able to get ahold of alana to make plans and everything frustrating... it was nasty. but the girls were going to stephs town for a girls night, so we boys were takin the rental van an we headed to hamilton for some bowling. (i finally got ahold of alana on the last try before we left, an we agreed to meet in cambridge at 10 for some fun.) we were gonna go see a movie, but since we had a time crunch we ended up just bowling and we all sucked. but it was good... an to be in hamilton as well as cambridge and just chillin. we met up with alana an her friend naomi (who chris knew, so it was automatically not awkward (as i met up with the girls, the other 7 boys (minus john-mark cuz he is addicted to skateboarding..) were hooding it up on the steps in the dark awkwardly ten feet away from us... but then chris stood up an was all 'naomi? what?')) an we decided to head over to the capernwray school to hang out. which was awesome! cuz all 8 boys had new people to talk too, and i knew another girl there from calgary, and another few people with mutual laura an jef an jeff friends.. it was sweet. we had a good night (though i don't think the capernwray boys much cared for us... eee awkward...) and headed home to sleep.
saturday morning! we took off for rotorua around... 9:30. ish. we were late. i lie... we left later. it doesn't matter. rotorua is only an hour away so we got there and met up with pete, our rafting guide. there was a massive marathon going on (apparently the biggest one in NZ each year) so the 15 minute drive took 45 minutes... but it was all good cuz it was a small rafting company and rafting companies are chill to begin with so a small one was even more-so. rafting last summer in colorado was amazing, and really fast, but this one wasn't as fast but ohhh man there were water falls... there was a 3 meter fall to begin with, then one meter, then a 7 meter fall to cap it off about halfway through the fun. i was actually really nervous for it but it was probably one of the most fun experiences of my life (which i somehow forgot from colorado (how can you forget that?!)) and it was short but sweet, an the pics are amazing so eventually you will see. we found a pretty cool $9 a person hostel ish place to camp at (or... $4.50 a person if only the boys sleep in the tent muhahaha shhh tell no one.) then we went an saw fast & furious... it was ok but what was more than ok was relaxing and seeing a movie after not having seen one in almost 3 months. but seriously it was such a good night. today was just as good, though we were pretty dried up on spending money, so all the cool thermal volcano tourist traps we wanted to go too were far too expensive so we ended up doing a tiny hike which turned into adventuring which turned into finding a pathway to the waterfall base where nobody else was. we felt special and took a lot of pictures. then we went home, had some icecream, and became exhausted. sooo tired.... in my frugality i bought only a loaf of some bread, peanut butter and a kg of golden kiwi, so i had that for 3 meals. so .. good? yeah. under $10 wins everytime. did you know you can just eat the skin off of a golden kiwi? cuz i do now, and i do and i enjoy. mmmmmm
goodt.
ps, the terminator salvation trailor gave me the movie chills. i am really excited for it.
4.30.2009
cheers day
mmm tea is my only sustenance today. its been a solid SOLID fasting day... absolutely saturated in prayer... which i mean is normal but when its intentional it's always so much better. and fasting as a team is just amazing.. dinner prayer always brings something out. we really really really bonded... probably the best prayer session in a long time.
maaaaaaan what the flip have i been up too?! i haven't written since... that day.. when i was ... holy spirit week.. pingpong... volleyball... RUGBY!! we played some touch rugby yesterday... i found it most enjoyable. m m m m most. tackling would have been even better which also would have made the rules far more understandable to some people but once we got the gyst of it we had a blast. well i did.. and i my team did.. (probably cuz we had the 2 aussies, kiwi and fijian that had all played before) but it is a solid game. screw cricket though.. don't care enough. rugby aaaaaa-ok!
and... what... else... this is two free nights in a row and it is fantastic rest. i'm reading 'jesus wants to save christians' by rob bell and it is pretty dang good so far. i saw the best nooma i had ever seen before the other night as well.. 015 'you'. rocked my world. i need all of them on my ipod as well as 'everything is spiritual' and 'the gods aren't angry'. solid brain food. (like we learned today! 'cept with spiritual food! gotta feed that soul of mine y'know?!)
and... what... else... for freaking real i cannot remember what i've done this week. its been such a good week. thats all you need to know i guess. probably. were gonna try to go to cambridge or hamilton tomorrow night and have a man-night.. possibly a movie... which would be fantastico. either way, the beginning of free weekend with no reason to come back home (until the morning) is gonna be amazing. and IN that morning 8 of us are driving to rotorua to go class 5 rafting. should be dandy. and a half. i do believe i should go and paint and avoid being around food. i bid you good read deed seed and ... bleed plead peed AND heed.
maaaaaaan what the flip have i been up too?! i haven't written since... that day.. when i was ... holy spirit week.. pingpong... volleyball... RUGBY!! we played some touch rugby yesterday... i found it most enjoyable. m m m m most. tackling would have been even better which also would have made the rules far more understandable to some people but once we got the gyst of it we had a blast. well i did.. and i my team did.. (probably cuz we had the 2 aussies, kiwi and fijian that had all played before) but it is a solid game. screw cricket though.. don't care enough. rugby aaaaaa-ok!
and... what... else... this is two free nights in a row and it is fantastic rest. i'm reading 'jesus wants to save christians' by rob bell and it is pretty dang good so far. i saw the best nooma i had ever seen before the other night as well.. 015 'you'. rocked my world. i need all of them on my ipod as well as 'everything is spiritual' and 'the gods aren't angry'. solid brain food. (like we learned today! 'cept with spiritual food! gotta feed that soul of mine y'know?!)
and... what... else... for freaking real i cannot remember what i've done this week. its been such a good week. thats all you need to know i guess. probably. were gonna try to go to cambridge or hamilton tomorrow night and have a man-night.. possibly a movie... which would be fantastico. either way, the beginning of free weekend with no reason to come back home (until the morning) is gonna be amazing. and IN that morning 8 of us are driving to rotorua to go class 5 rafting. should be dandy. and a half. i do believe i should go and paint and avoid being around food. i bid you good read deed seed and ... bleed plead peed AND heed.
4.27.2009
3com: connected - signal strength: good day
i had a crazy uprising in brainwaves today. and yesterday. and none of it was focused on anything relevant or necessary to living in NZ. there was a lot about ping pong.. and a lot about tattoos... and a crap load of remorse for losing a sock wrestling match.. (nick johnson.. the bc bested me with his largeness... it was fun but i want to win!) but i beat lucas again, and it was a fight and a half.. a solid bout of head smashing into the ground and pretzel legs. it was our second fight of which i won again.. but really its cuz i'm super long compared to him. he's a good battler. i beat kristen as well but that was nights ago.. i think sock wrestling has taken over our gaming passion from mafia. instead of arguing, we just give each other massive rug-burns that scab then get ripped off again when we wrestle again. this is the good life. and pingpong. so pretty much my thoughts are exactly what i proclaimed them not to be about. living in NZ... necessary AND relevant. its holy spirit week this week as well.... good things to come i am sure. i'm almost done the mural in the prayer room... mebe i'll even give up a few megabytes and upload a pic for you to see. (but mebe i'll just wait for fiji then give you 14 facebook albums to look through muhahahhaa. i can wait three weeks. can you? you don't even have a choice.)
(bows and runs away whilst taking his pants off in preparation for getting sweatpants back on but realizes this is a crude gesture and raises his pants back up but not for you just for him as he confirms in his head that his only pair of sweatpants have been sullied by blood spots from his sock wrestling rug-burns... sadly he stops running and walks humbly into the bathroom where surely he considers pooping but decides then to just pee.)
(bows and runs away whilst taking his pants off in preparation for getting sweatpants back on but realizes this is a crude gesture and raises his pants back up but not for you just for him as he confirms in his head that his only pair of sweatpants have been sullied by blood spots from his sock wrestling rug-burns... sadly he stops running and walks humbly into the bathroom where surely he considers pooping but decides then to just pee.)
4.25.2009
drowningish day
we went to raglan!! it was amazing.. well if i could surf it'd be amazing... they were really thick (fat... slow...) waves so they were hard to catch, but mebe more possible if i was in the right area (which wasn't the one i was in.. there was a little bit of a current that pulled me to where the waves were really... out of my league...) i had no business being there... i got hit soooo hard then rolled over and over by two huge waves. it was scary... i was only in the water for like 20 minutes... it'll be better two weekends from now when i know not to go where only experienced surfers should go. bahaha.. little me..
we pretty much just hung out in town for a bit.. went to a kids bible camp where jake had helped out last dts... cool people... were gonna be staying with them when we go back to raglan.
its the weekend. next week is holy spirit week. next weekend is free weekend. next next weekend is bag to raglan.. i don't even know what to say right now. i'm fried. i wanna surf again and actually surf and not try to just not die. but thatsok!!!!!!!!!!
scrabble is amazing. i missed it.
we pretty much just hung out in town for a bit.. went to a kids bible camp where jake had helped out last dts... cool people... were gonna be staying with them when we go back to raglan.
its the weekend. next week is holy spirit week. next weekend is free weekend. next next weekend is bag to raglan.. i don't even know what to say right now. i'm fried. i wanna surf again and actually surf and not try to just not die. but thatsok!!!!!!!!!!
scrabble is amazing. i missed it.
4.23.2009
ugly flowers have their day
hmmf... nothing to write about. other than capture the flag is pretty much amazing... i'm all bloody cuz of it. (stupid trailer hitches..) joanna sprained her wrist, lucas gibbled his shin... everybody wins.
its crazy to think we only have 3 weeks left on base.. so soon... which means i won't be able to keep in touch as often, but WHEN i do the quality will be better because i can finally upload pictures from the internet cafe's in fiji. super exciting business. i'm almost out of the only toothpaste i like... (coughmomanddadsendmesomecough)
i am crying cuz i just cut onions for ten minutes. i am a massive baby.
were having our first outreach meeting in half hour.. our team, our prayer, our plans! mmmmmm good.
yesterday during intercession i think i had a vision.. i wouldn't even go so far as to call it a vision, but just an illustration of what christians are. i figure we are like nails... strong, sharp... but without a purpose we are very limited in what we can do. you can take getting hit in the head with a hammer how you will, (i think persecution... honestly.) and until you are hit in the head you are just laying on the floor. we are in the way and hurting people's feet and deflating tires of moving vehicles. (which was probably put together by other nails that HAVE been hit in the head, thus fulfilling their purpose and building something for Christ.) so.. we need to be ready and available to be struck by the hammer (uh, God, persecutors, opportunities) and get driven into the wood that is christian life, (TRUE christian life.. biblical gospel spreading evangelizing discipleship-ing and glorifying (among other things of truth)) and then bring together something that can be used by God. or just being a part of his kingdom, fastening another section into place. we can use each other to sharpen one another (iron on iron! eh? eh? not bad huh) but we've gotta be ready and willing to be struck.
one day i'll pound that into a sermon or something and it'll be far more complete and will have scriptures laced into it an such, but think about it. Jesus freaks is still kicking my butt.. just about half way through. i'm very inspired by it.. i hope if i ever come across persecution on that level i won't EVER deny my God.. no matter how bad the persecution. God gives me strength, so what really do i have to fear. (uh, nothing i guess CHYEAH nothing.)
pray for north korea. i'd like to smuggle bibles. the persecuted church is such a powerful weapon against darkness..
its crazy to think we only have 3 weeks left on base.. so soon... which means i won't be able to keep in touch as often, but WHEN i do the quality will be better because i can finally upload pictures from the internet cafe's in fiji. super exciting business. i'm almost out of the only toothpaste i like... (coughmomanddadsendmesomecough)
i am crying cuz i just cut onions for ten minutes. i am a massive baby.
were having our first outreach meeting in half hour.. our team, our prayer, our plans! mmmmmm good.
yesterday during intercession i think i had a vision.. i wouldn't even go so far as to call it a vision, but just an illustration of what christians are. i figure we are like nails... strong, sharp... but without a purpose we are very limited in what we can do. you can take getting hit in the head with a hammer how you will, (i think persecution... honestly.) and until you are hit in the head you are just laying on the floor. we are in the way and hurting people's feet and deflating tires of moving vehicles. (which was probably put together by other nails that HAVE been hit in the head, thus fulfilling their purpose and building something for Christ.) so.. we need to be ready and available to be struck by the hammer (uh, God, persecutors, opportunities) and get driven into the wood that is christian life, (TRUE christian life.. biblical gospel spreading evangelizing discipleship-ing and glorifying (among other things of truth)) and then bring together something that can be used by God. or just being a part of his kingdom, fastening another section into place. we can use each other to sharpen one another (iron on iron! eh? eh? not bad huh) but we've gotta be ready and willing to be struck.
one day i'll pound that into a sermon or something and it'll be far more complete and will have scriptures laced into it an such, but think about it. Jesus freaks is still kicking my butt.. just about half way through. i'm very inspired by it.. i hope if i ever come across persecution on that level i won't EVER deny my God.. no matter how bad the persecution. God gives me strength, so what really do i have to fear. (uh, nothing i guess CHYEAH nothing.)
pray for north korea. i'd like to smuggle bibles. the persecuted church is such a powerful weapon against darkness..
4.21.2009
totally forgot day
yeah! i totally forgot my favorite part of my sabbath weekend! flippin climbing! we went to a different place this time, and it was amazing (like usual). i climbed my first 35 meter wall... it was not as scary as i thought. just... really high. i discovered that its not the heights that bug me, its the edges. i could be near an edge 20 feet tall and i would get freaked out.. instead on a face 100 feet tall it didn't bug me. thought there was a spot where you had to cross over a big edge onto another face and so that caused intensely horrid rope drag for the last 50 feet.. felt like i was carrying someone up on my back with me. it was the most exhausting climb i've ever done but it was so satisfying.. mmm i love climbing. and lead climbing. after that we climbed top rope for a bit and i forgot how much more confidence i have when i dont' have to worry about clipping in an stuff... its such a different experience... all fun all the time though. i love climbing. i hate edges...
other'n that.. new week. john childres is our speaker, and he is pretty much amazing. authority of the believer is our topic, and john 1:12 (i think..) is our basis for discussion. its so good! he's a very wise dude. i'm also reading jesus freaks.. volume 2 and its consuming me. its so inspiring to read stories from believers that have stood up for the truth and died for it. honestly.. ugh. its so amazing. God wins. though through reading too much i think i've made my dreams depressing.. really depressing.. i was fighting with someone who was trying to kill me and i ended up killing him.. it was so sad cuz after i had (not gonna say how) killed him, he was dying and we were crying together cuz we were so sorry and uuugh i was so glad to be awake. thank goodness life is beautiful.
it may very well hit the fan. in the best possible glorious way.
other'n that.. new week. john childres is our speaker, and he is pretty much amazing. authority of the believer is our topic, and john 1:12 (i think..) is our basis for discussion. its so good! he's a very wise dude. i'm also reading jesus freaks.. volume 2 and its consuming me. its so inspiring to read stories from believers that have stood up for the truth and died for it. honestly.. ugh. its so amazing. God wins. though through reading too much i think i've made my dreams depressing.. really depressing.. i was fighting with someone who was trying to kill me and i ended up killing him.. it was so sad cuz after i had (not gonna say how) killed him, he was dying and we were crying together cuz we were so sorry and uuugh i was so glad to be awake. thank goodness life is beautiful.
it may very well hit the fan. in the best possible glorious way.
4.19.2009
and hurricanes day (2)
new zealand has the best apples. the best... this apple right now is probably literally the best apple i have ever eaten. i've just drooled on myself because of its tastiness and i don't even care. oh man, remember that day way back when i possibly said i was excited to find out about outreach teams... no more waiting. the staff tricked us pretty good... we were in our meeting pre-hamilton evangelism, and we were picking teams of 4, so we had captains. the staff spread out an started picking students until we had 6 groups of 4.. i was pretty stoked about my team. then they said 'k, this group combine with this group (it was corners pretty much) an so on so it was 3 teams of 8 (which i didn't notice cuz i was busy saying how stupid of an idea it was to put 8 people on a team to go do some evagelism..) to which chris came giddely around saying 'your going with pastor vulu.. your going with pastor jare... ' and he came up to our 8 and said you guys are going with pastor michael! i didn't get it for about 30 seconds until i heard everyone laughing and 'whaaat'ing.. cuz i didn't believe it! i was like noooo way.. this team is wayyyy too good to actually be this team. so here is my amazing team: the leaders are steph and nick, flippin awesome, and the students are lucas, alicia, jess, nik and i. (which is 7 i know cuz chris erika anna-rose and tyler were all on the team captains 'team' but they aren't going on outreach so... sneaky sneaky) i'm very very excited... it was cool for about 3 minutes until we realized who we weren't with, and then it got a little hard... really hard for some. (nobody was upset at all with who they were on a team with, but just the reality that our division WILL happen an we won't see each other for 4 weeks, little airport visit then 3 more weeks. then party, then depart forever...) yeah. kinda killed evangelism cuz nobody was really up for it afterwards.. (terrible attitude i know, but it was too bittersweet.. we got evangelized too more than we actually got to talk to people... though me'n annie saw tara again which was cool cuz she was actually walking this time. ji-won is crazy and probably needs a people leash cuz she will go up to ANYONE and talk.. if you look away she wanders off and we find her praying with someone... bahahaha...) but yeah. i'm going to lautoka with pastor michael where we'll be probably doing a lot of work with youth (sweet). the other lautoka group is lead by joe, with students ji-won, annie, john-mark, rims, and arby. they are probably gonna be working with a village outside of lautoka with pastor jare and staying at his house.. the suva team is lead by jacob and crystal, with kristen, rasa, joanna, sylvia and ithy. they are gonna be working with children i think, with pastor vulu. 3 more weeks...ish.. about a month actually. our prayer though really effective, has just kicked off. we tried to do an all nighter last night but it ended up only being me, alicia and john-mark around 1:30. (we didn't do it the night before cuz we were so exhausted from hamilton) but from 11 till that point a few other girls were there and we just prayed and talked and chilled in the prayer room. after they left me'n john-mark passed out immensely quick (probably due to the amazing future-disco dance party we had a few hours before (i'm sure you'll see pictures... it was.. fun.. no seriously. dance parties cannot be beaten.)) but alicia stayed up till 6 doin her thing.. it was her idea to have one an i didn't know she was doing it cuz God told her to fast sleep. good on her! i'm losing my ability to not need sleep. nah i'm not... i just was so comfortable on the floor... so we woke up at 7 an went about our day. sabbath day. on the sabbath weekend. so much chilling... so much studying... non-required.. i love reading now. i finished brown like coffee in 2 days (its only 150 pages) but i (don't call me a nerd) wrote a book report on it because it had so many flippin good points... an i picked up Jesus freaks vol.II from the library, so its not voice of the martyrs like i wanted but its still people living contrary to society for Jesus so i'm happy. should be a solid read... but its huge.. so i'll read slow.. and someone mysteriously left the 24-7 prayer manual on my desk. so i'm gonna read that as well. and hopefully mebe the bible. (not mebe, surely, but hopefully i start studying it as well.) gotta pick up a qu'ran as well... i must be aware! AWAAAAARE!!
4.17.2009
butterflies day (1)
muse always gives me an epic song before i write. not always... but when it happens it makes me feel epic. like if its knights of cydonia or butterflies and hurricanes. today was the final lecture with claude hickman and todd ahrend... it was a really solid day. claude talked more about goers, givers, prayers, welcomers and senders. really the missionary calling is these five basic (b b b b b basic but solid) pillars... all of which could be the focus of any which day and could change at any moment depending on the situation you are in. just gotta be open... but yeah. we talked about what exactly we would even say to people back home when they inevitably ask 'how was dts?!' without just the usual 'oh it was pretty good..' (honestly if you are gonna ask me i'm either gonna write you an essay or were gonna have coffee or were gonna have coffee and i'm gonna read you an essay i wrote (but not really... really just ask an i'll tell you))
the fast was good... most of us decided that we had figured out which pastor we were gonna go with. a few of us were (not apathetic... but willing) undecided on where to go, and just stated that anywhere we were placed we were happy with. last night we were interceding for each other and just little things (surprise surprise tyler! flip.) kept pushing me to one of the names.... dont' even wanna say because i also wrote that honestly it did not matter where i went. i would be happy and trusting with whatever... i'm kinda hoping i don't end up where i felt i was supposed to go, but then mebe there is a chance for character building there. well.. undoubtedly there will be regardless but moreso..
pastor michael (laukota)
pastor jare (laukota)
pastor vulu (suva)
the staff are gonna pray about it tonight and see how it goes. they are pretty sure they knew, so we'll see if it lined up. all's well that ends well with prayer. john-mark and nik and i took the 3-5am shift last night as well (jik an jam took 2am as well) but we really didn't pray much cuz of the previous prayer pow-wow at 11 when we interceded for each other... but tonight OH tonight were gonna stay up all night praying and worshiping and hopefully celebrating.. we also go to hamilton for some ministry as well tonight, so were up for a solid night. then tomorrow is a dance party. chyess....
the fast was good... most of us decided that we had figured out which pastor we were gonna go with. a few of us were (not apathetic... but willing) undecided on where to go, and just stated that anywhere we were placed we were happy with. last night we were interceding for each other and just little things (surprise surprise tyler! flip.) kept pushing me to one of the names.... dont' even wanna say because i also wrote that honestly it did not matter where i went. i would be happy and trusting with whatever... i'm kinda hoping i don't end up where i felt i was supposed to go, but then mebe there is a chance for character building there. well.. undoubtedly there will be regardless but moreso..
pastor michael (laukota)
pastor jare (laukota)
pastor vulu (suva)
the staff are gonna pray about it tonight and see how it goes. they are pretty sure they knew, so we'll see if it lined up. all's well that ends well with prayer. john-mark and nik and i took the 3-5am shift last night as well (jik an jam took 2am as well) but we really didn't pray much cuz of the previous prayer pow-wow at 11 when we interceded for each other... but tonight OH tonight were gonna stay up all night praying and worshiping and hopefully celebrating.. we also go to hamilton for some ministry as well tonight, so were up for a solid night. then tomorrow is a dance party. chyess....
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