oh no WAY day.

hey remember when i said i had a really spiritual day that one day? flip this day was in comparison... started out normally.. minus the absence of meals, since i had been fasting since supper yesterday! the longest i've gone.. it was.. not nearly as hard as i thought it would be. God provided strength and filled my body when food didn't. i was so happy an receptive today.. which i think what was God wanted, cuz i felt prompted to fast, but didn't actually want too, but had several confirmations that i needed too. kristen.. rims and his hebrews 12:11... so yeah. it was ON! and God was on. in the morning instead of breakfast me'n kristen and nick were in the prayer room... an we just prayed, talked, chilled out in the presence of God... twas a good pre-morning lecture morning. then during cabin worship we just finished working on the girls surprise, which had been in the process of being planned since they blessed the crap out of us last week. amen to those amazing girls...
so we just went on into lectures with baryll again.. she equipped us with more tools to fight satan with (did you know communion is a major one? i didn't and i felt like.. hey... thats pretty frikken awesome... we have authority.) and so lectures up until ministry felt pretty enabling... then ministry started and we prayed for a bit.. everybody went up again and got prayed for .. and this time ji-won started manifesting because she had bad childhood agreements when her father was dying of cancer.. i dunno it wasn't as bad as the other one i witnessed but it was still pretty intense. this time we had our whole class surrounding her and all praying out with boldness, and we couldn't send it out so we bound it and tried to let ji-won rest (baryll said tryin to get a demon out is suuuuper tiring for the person being tormented) so i went and started laying out the clues for our sister's scavenger hunt. (in the MEANTIME ji-won started manifesting again and there was shouting and screaming but she got big time deliverance.. there is still some things she needs to get out but our precious ji-won was back as herself again by afternoon)
AND THEN we let the lovely ladies out on their scavenger hunt. it took about 45 minutes and then they were back in the a-frame with us so we could pray over them. and then we had communion with them (oh YES). substituting for the body of christ, was dark and milk chocolate. taking over for the precious blood, was milk. were so unified.. lots of love. they prayed for us too, which was raaaaaaaaad cuz it wasn't expected. so yeah, they day went on. tuesday is the day we go to the skatepark to minister to the kids (and by minister i mean hang out an skate with them.. my shins are tattered cuz i'm trying to get kickflips down. i suck.)
BUT THEN i came home, ready to jump into prayer (cuz lunch fasting prayer was.. nullified by deliverance and settin up the blessing scavenger hunt) and i found my good brother nick in there. so we started praying together a bit... then ji-won and sylvia came in and joined our circle. we prayed for a bit (korean style, cuz i guess ji-won an sylvia had been praying together every day for the last.. many days and thats how they did it (LOUD too... was sweet)) and then when we were done ji-won looked at me and told me she had a verse for me. (ps i hadn't found a reason why i was fasting yet, i just felt prompted and it had felt right, and i was in the process of asking God why he wanted me to fast) it was jeremiah 33:3, umm i think it said 'call upon my name and i will show you great and mighty things that you have not seen before' but she said the emphasis was on calling out his name. and that i was supposed to do that. which sucked cuz i knew i was supposed too, and i love being quiet. but hey... God works.. so after s'more chattin nick threw out the idea that we should be shouting praise to God and yelling things we wanted Him to give to us. we couldn't do it straight away with no music, and just before nick asked 'what should we listen too?' i thought underoath would be soothing. he said thats who he was thinking about too, so we started blasting underoath, and starting yelling praises and questions, and we each wrestled with God. it was so amazing... my arms when really numb, and the more i prayed the more they went numb (pins an needles numb... flippin hurt!) and when i tried to be quiet i just ended up getting louder and more passionate. there was a time when i stopped and looked at the clock on the wall and thought 'sure why not' so i started to pray for time, that we wouldn't be contained by it and that God would freeze it in this moment so that we could just not worry about things in the future and just focus on praising him.. so i just went back yelling and ranting and asking ( i never got anything mental or downright revelationary but it was still good just to break some inner shells and scream unabashedly to my savior) and then about 15 minutes later i looked back at the clock and it had stopped. like... the same time it was after i prayed for it. (since clearly looking at the clock, i had remembered where the time was located) and the second hand was ticking but not going anywhere. sooooo i started laughing saying thats rediculous! oh man! and the prayer was pretty much over... open meeting was starting so nick had to book it. but man... cool things.. cool things... an hour of screaming does wonders for the soul. go scream and yell! i felt calm after that and thought fasting could be done. celebratory yogurt and oatmeal were had.

flippin finally day

i went to the waterfall today! i thought it was gonna be a snappin big group of us, but it was just me'n tyler. which turned out to be way better, cuz we explored way more that we woulda with more people. we went up the river bed then once we got to the base of the falls, we climbed up an around to the second level of the waterfall... i felt like frodo, all barefoot and climbing through mud and sharp rocks.. it was an epic day of rest. the guys secret project is working out pretty well too... gonna be a good inheritance to the next DTS men. pounded out my CIR.. it was a productive sunday.

today we started spiritual warfare. oh my this's gonna be an intense week.. baryll started ministering to us this week as well. more holy spirit filling and anointing for intercession! we got in line. i was sure i needed baryll to pray for me because she has a ton of authority (spiritually speaking) and is just very very gifted in prayer. buuut i think i quickly dismissed these thoughts because i realized we all have this authority, and that it wasn't up to one person to release them upon me. so after this realization nick walked directly to me ( i was in the middle of the line for people waiting to get prayed for ) and he said that he felt like he was supposed to pray for me.. so he went straight on! and this whole day i have been thinking that inside of my mind i've been holding on to far too many doubts that have accumulated over the years (doubts of my inability to feel anything the spirit gives me (other than sleep)) and all of these mental blocks that have been plaguing me. so i told them to go away. then a voice inside me said to say it out loud (like we had just been taught... reject, renounce, rebuke, and out loud because that has more authority). so i did, but i muttered it under my breath, and the voice got louder and said c'mon... don't be ashamed (ashamed as i had just told myself i didn't mind being foolish for God) so i started rejecting renouncing and rebuking the mental blocks in my head that allowed me to accept authority and the spirit.. an i started crying, an i just kept pouring out passionate words at those stupid mental blocks.. an those tears each felt like doubts leaving me. it felt amazing.. then i stopped crying and i just felt... really strong and confident. i got so deep into my head i lost a little bit of balance because no thought was going to my legs to stand up.. so i sat down an prayed for awhile.. but yeah... i don't know what anyone else had going on (other'n than kristen, but thats between him an God) but it was an amazing first day with baryll.... super excited for what else gonna happen this week. woo. i'm tired.

thop day

so we've been going to this conference in tauranga... put on by the tauranga house of prayer (THOP, i'm fairly sure affiliated with IHOP because they mention KC a lot (a lot a lot... they are most assuredly affiliated/in cahoots with one another)) called 'unrelenting 09' (it is the first one evah!) it was some pretty good warmup worship hype, a really sweet song (i think it was called unrelenting or something) that easily gets caught up in the brain and replayed over and over again, but then a long time of worship then this speaker named bob sorge... who is very very interesting because 17 years ago he had a vocal chord injury caused by surgery that destroyed his voice, only allowing him to speak at a whisper and only for about an hour a day. the first night he talked about us seeking God for our justice against the adversary, gaining restoration and beyond that, restitution. it was pretty sweet, i had never heard anything like that (whether prosperity gospel or not... us seeking God like the woman bugging the judge for justice seemed like a good idea to follow up on.) but... yeah it was cool. that was thursday night. thursDAY mighta been cool too.. minus i don't remember. or i may have written about it already... probs...

friday we continued in prayer with jono.. except it wasn't much confession at all but rather him just coming around to each of us individually and praying/prophesying over us. it was really cool! he told me i need to stop analyzing God with little check boxes to tick off, that i can explain to people later. he said that deep down i knew that i knew that i KNEW God was real and true and absolute, and that trying to suppress that wouldn't be doing me any good. it was very accurate... then he said something about the joy of the spirit and then i'm fairly sure i fell asleep. whenever i get the spirit near me i fall asleep.. so much peace.

friday night we headed back to tauranga, for another night... i was far less pleased with this night, because i only knew one worship song, and it was very long and very repetitive. which drives me crazy... i usually get a lot of something being said once, and then hitting it over and over again seems to cheapen the meaning of it and pushes it down into nullification. bleh.. and it was really .. overly gentle. i guess... i was analyzing it way to hard but i decided that i like worship to be like a baseball hitting me in the face, and this worship was like a softball wrapped in cotton balls and underhanded at me. it was 'good' but it wasn't at all impacting... but thats ok. bob's talk was about sprinkling of the blood of Christ, but i didn't get much out of it because it was mainly his own conviction and method to launch himself into the presence of God. good to share verbally, not that special to spread to people who hear God in different ways. so kind of a bust night.

then saturday lucky saturday we woke up an headed right back to THOP, and listened (pfft lies, there was no ounce of real listening) to john dawson, a really cool guy really high up in YWAM, buuuut what he was talking about nobody in our group knew... there was something about not letting your national identity becoming an idol and stealing the thunder of what really decides your identity.. which i agreed with fully but had come to terms with that in my own realizations earlier in life. he spoke for 2 hours straight... our lovely leadership decided it was time to ditch the afternoon session so we went city walking in tauranga for the afternoon. i had a kebab. it was like angels peeing on my tongue. (apparently the most common phrase used by the dutch people, says rims. angel pee yo.) then i ditched the girls and john-mark who went to see confessions of a shopaholic. there wasn't anything else playing... nothing. until 8:30 when watchmen was playing, or until 6:30 when slumdog millionaire was playing at another theatre, but we would've been gone by then. sigh no movies.. but it was a nice chill day in the city. then we grudgingly went back to THOP for one last session.. sigh. but i had an attitude check during worship that kiiinda brought me back into it.. i mainly just prayed hard at God but it felt like a 2 way conversation so i appreciated it. bob talked about worship and the role of the worship leader and how they need to be cautious in how they grab the attention of Christ's bride, so they don't start seeking after him/her rather than the king of kings. which was again just a heady reminder of things known.. but hey. it was still a less bad evening than before... my favorite part was when i passed out, slept for 10 minutes and then when everyone stood for one last song my body followed and my mind woke up half way up confused and .. confused. then we went home!! yay home. i told ji-won she could sleep on my shoulder, and she said ok! and i knew she passed out cuz her body went limp in 2 minutes.. that korean sleeps so easily..

then i came home and had amazing dreams about me flying/floating/being batman and getting shot at and kicking butt and flying s'more. today i'm going to the falls for a solid hike. yay weekend!

its thursday, but i feel like its wednesday, for the lecture phase.

aaaaaaaaaand more revelation... more wisdom...

i don't (didn't) have faith in my own prayer life. i fully banked on the genuine outpourings of other peoples words into my problems because i believed mine had none. i mean i knew they did, but i cheapened them by being angry that they weren't being answered and holding on to things that i should have let go a long time ago. there was a lot of renouncing and repenting this morning.. our lecture was mostly talking about demons and stuff which is next weeks topic (we went off on a crazy tangent with rediculously awesome stories and whatnot) but then we moved into prayer for one another with jono leading it.. some really cool stuff came out, stuff nobody wanted to say or agree with... but acknowledging and renouncing agreements we had made with our foolish selves despite knowing the truth ie: disobedience. agreeing with thoughts that we know are wrong, or little justifications that we allow ourselves in order to cease the pains of waiting or other places we tend to fail in... which leads to pretension, or rebellious ideas and attitudes towards things the bible says... which leads to arguments we allow to form against things we know to be true, basically justifying our pride and allowing and obstacle to form... which leads to a stronghold in our lives. a stronghold that satan uses as a foothold to bring disillusion into that area of our lives. 2 corinthians 10:4-6. yeah. sick stuff... thats what led to spiritual battle talk.

so yeah. stuff was said. strongholds were destroyed in the name of Jesus. were all a little bit closer to each other and in line to get closer to God.

tonight tomorrow and saturday were going to tauranga for a conference... forget what its called but its put on by the 24-7 prayer group. dedicated ridiculous amazing people. so it should be good... i'm always looking forward to 45 minute drives, 3 days in a row. lots of talking, sleeping, listening to music and maybe even cuddling. maybe even with girls! bahaha. our sisters are swell. i'm fasting pingpong today cuz its consuming my thoughts. even now. therefore! its time to read me some bible. and listen to some music. and mebe nap... on the trampoline... i've got time. all i have is time.

'rents...- thanks for that amazing package.. i had no idea why it was so heavy... rice crispy squares make me happy. i'll get that video to you soon...

i forgot the day

goggles come and go... but shelf girls last forever. unless i destroy the shelf muahhahahahhaaa. only me and my mind know whats up. unless you know my mind, in which case we must have a discussion so i can lie to you so only me'n my brain know whats up. blushing is fun too....

i probably stink right now.. but i have no awareness of myself so i feel nice'n free (which is how it should be!!) i mean i'm gonna go shower after this... i just like sitting in frisbee bliss (dirt) and letting it soak into my skin so i know i did something i love today. its like when i get paint on my wrists, or clothes, or accidentally fall onto a tattoo needle, i just love reminding myself of the things i love to do. which is why i don't brush my teeth anymor- JUST KIDDING i love brushing my teeth. seriously. a clean mouth is like... there is nothing to compare it too, cuz a clean mouth is usually the thing that is compared too. a good high five. chyess. or a powerful passionate progressive worship song, with an alliterative title.

we had activity time with the other DTS today (by other, i mean mebe 8 of them (but they were rad)) and we did 'fear factor' without the real fear... the only gross thing was the 4 people who had to bike down a hill, get blindfolded and eat nasty stuff. first was a glass with a raw egg in it, then two spoon fulls of flour, then two bites of anchovies (big mothers too) then two gigantic spoon fulls of dogfood. i put my hand on my nose so i didn't have to participate in that crap. i woulda thrown up on the people in charge for shizzle. the rest was rolling down a hill in a tire, then wheel barrowing (just the move, no actual equipment) someone who had spun around on a bat like object 15 times so they were super dizzy around a volleyball net, then back up the hill. which we lost.. i get dizzy easy so i just went down the hill in the tire. for the 2nd time.. i think never again cuz i think about it an i get super dizzy. stupid lame easily dizzy body... whatevs, i'm ok with it. then there was a 5 legged race, then a tug of war, then sweet sweet ultimate.

jono turner was sweet again today, we started to minister to one another in prayer, except i didn't relate to anything (cuz once again, i have a sweet family, a sweet dad therefore a crappy fatherhood experience was not something i needed prayer for) soooo i actually had a super hard time focusing today. like... super hard. we prayed for pornography and plane crashes and our outreach during morning intercession, so satan was attacking my mind pretty hard. once i told satan to screw off my mind settled on watching 'cast away' in fast forward, especially the scenes i like. like when he grows a beard. and goes home and eats crab. and then i realized jono was looking me right in the eyes (could not know how long he was there) and i snapped back into embarrassing reality... i was goooone. for like.. 10 minutes. so focus was a slight issue today.

man i can't believe its already wednesday...

grumpy people suck day

for serious. control emotions and let that anger slide. not a ton of it here, but just wishing it to the past when men became little girls in grumpyness. we've all done it, so lets not anymore. whooo to the whoooooooo

got a new internet card. numero 4.. gotta stop using it so much. buuuut... gotta keep updated! we talked a lot about outreach last night at small group, and were most definitely going to fiji, so we talked about culture and our expectations and sulus and what not... oh yes, its gonna be a very commando experience. there will be nudity in our sulu noobyness i'm sure... also, i'm not gonna be able to have contact with anything or anybody for two months. sooooo... send me your updates via thought tossing powers. the harder you think, the faster i'll get them. bahaha. mebe i'll get to use the phone once in awhile, but there most likely won't be any internet at all. pretty much i'm gonna disappear off the face of civilization for a wee bit. but whatevs, more focus for me i spose. less distraction, more interaction with LIFE.

jono is kicking my buttox. father heart of God is an intense subject... it all leads back to the father, whom Jesus taught. its so good... and next week will be spiritual warfare, but already were touching on it. there is always a battle... i'm feeling really excited to either go fight, or go home and wake people up to the fight. like... really wake people up. i fully feel my art is gonna have more purpose now... goin back to school is gonna be totally different.

i love my sisters. i love my brothers, but i LOVE my sisters. they've been all suspicious for the past few days/nights, leaving trampoline nights early, and missing out on playing mission impossible... just wait they would say.. just wait. i friggen hate waiting. but! waiting ended during a man-beef-sesh, in which we were bonding through anger towards certain authorities and boundaries... but then we were kicked in the face with individual letters written together by the girls for all 7 of us guys. it was such an encouragement.. each so personal, and full of love and kindness. they love us! and we love them. but now they have started a love war, and i'm pretty sure 2 of them are gonna end up pregnant. NAWWW lies you sickos. were just gonna have sibling love wars. our loving revenge will be sweet...

i took a ton of music from john-mark and nik today.. loooots of metal and screaming.. buuut i'm thinking some of it has to go cuz it makes me angry, and i don't like to be controlled by music.. therefore some of it must GO. but i have s'more anathallo.. which always fills me entirely with joy. and other stuff i was just missing, like some solid jimmy eat world, seven places, flight of the conchords and other essentially important musical brain food.

pray for revelation and wisdom.

i must poop.

no seriously, i love nutella day.

like... seriously...

i honestly can't remember the last time i wrote because i keep thinking that i write, but really i'm just checking my comments, and then my internet card runs out an i have to spend another 5 bucks in coin which NOBODY ever has, especially me, therefore i am a few days behind. several. i think thursday was the last day.. lets start with friday!

we practiced prophesying for each other. really it was just a big encouragement fest, but there were some cool pictures and visions that some people got. it was just nice to sit in the spirit and feel loved.. there was a point i was suuuper pissed off because we split up the group into two groups to speed things up (i felt strongly we should not be putting our time with the spirit in a contained BOX of time UUUGH) but i got over it and felt very close with my sisters because i was the only dude left on my side of the room. other'n that... went and did some street evangelism and talked with a sweet woman named tara and we prayed for her and got her some water and hot water and sausage.. and she talked a lot and she said she'd repeat our prayers and pray for us and it was a solid good time.

then saturday we went surfing! ooo lala surfing is amazing. the waves sucked but the one i caught well and the one i didn't expect to catch were amazing for the 30 minutes we were in the water. we walked around and did some cliff jumping beforehand (and by cliff i mean mayyybe 30 feet) which is when i realized i absolutely hate hate hate falling. it does nothing for me. i hate it. i'm afraid of it, and after i actually DO jump after 30 minutes of peer pressure at a lower jump spot mebe 20ish feet then then THEN get absolutely no adrenaline rush like everybody else does, my body just gets pissed at me for flinging myself off a ledge into perfectly safe ocean water... i decided i hate heights and falling is flippin stupid. but surfing is cool.

then today i went back to rohan and climbed a whole lot again, which is completely contradictory to my heights fear BUT i can overcome it when i climb. therefore i determine that it is gooooood. and i love it and i'm sore and i love it.

we have another DTS here, a marine reach DTS who lives on a boat. 16 new people, 12 girls 4 dudes.. solid people i'm sure. gonna be fun methinks. pingpong and frisbee yo. sigh. and this week is father heart of God, so its gonna be a good one. WHOO week 5!

cookies and milk & nutella (or cheaper rip off hazelnut spread) and butter day

i love foooood.

we just watched 'everything is spiritual' by rob bell. that man has a genius when it comes to communicating. honestly.. watch it. especially if you are a scientific intellectual type. its not even anything about arguments, its just mr bell sharing the facts of our earth and universe and other crazy mad things. regardless if you agree or disagree with any of the presentation doesn't matter... truth is truth. its a matter of our heart and how open our eyes are. gah. my stumbly worded response to that movie has no comparison to the amount of freedom my brain is feeling. i honestly have been thinking i'm not learning that much this week, but really i'm learning lots. i feel like i'm actually starting to love God. i've never felt like this before, and i know its because of how personal our relationship is. and i wanna share it. i'm so sad for people who don't know what that is like, or for people who haven't felt what a life with vision or a life with purpose is like. also, i know my family is amazing. absolutely amazing.. i love them so much. looking at how screwed up some families are i feel so blessed and so privileged to be a part of mine.

'make sure you love like you've never been hurt. and when you dance, dance. like there's no one watching you.' -alexisonfire.

'its not faith if you use your eyes' -paramore.

mmmmmmmmmmmusic is good too.

dts goggles suck, flies suck, sweat sucks.

everything else is dandy. and yellow.

i have a canadian flag on my backpack day

bro-night was cool. minus the people having sex in the pool 20 feet from us. they were quiet and polite, but they were still soiling that mineral water with their unrighteous public love. i realize i have not yet showered yet, and that makes me want to cry. but seriously i love my brothers. talkin about dragon ball z... backflips... dragon ball z movie... which enemies in dragon ball z kicked the most butt and intrigued us the most. solid bonding night fo sho. then trampoline night with the ladies?! paranoia is more fun with a crowd. both my work duties involve vacuuming. <3. seriously. i like vacuuming. and playing basketball. until someone better and taller than me plays, and then i feel inadequate. but seriously jimbo an lukas are fun as balls (bahhaa basketballs) and it feels like i'm getting better now that i can actually shoot well. layups are still an issue... same as dribbling.. thinking.. and defending (minus on lukas. i'm on him like a tall canadian guy against a short brazilian guy.)

we learned more about missions today, but mostly more about family blessing which i still cannot for the life of me figure out what its about, but we talked about the cycles of not having intimacy and stuff, and addiction and whatnot caused by lack of intimacy. did you know that heroine is 100% addictive? i did. did you know that an orgasm is 4x stronger (addiction wise (that be mental yo)) than heroine? makes you think. made me think... satan attacked me and my mental purity and i couldn't focus cuz of my sexual thoughts. stupid sneaky satan using the lesson against me. but i won. muhahahaha. accountability is sweet.

now its more basketball time. even though i really REALLY should be doing my CIR. but... there is always time for some basketball oui? oui.

shiiiiiiinsdey.day.

i need more eve 6 in my life. flip they were good. i'm content with playing lots and lots of basketball today, after mowing lots and lots of grass, after learning lots and lots about how few missionaries there are in the world, in the context of the number of true, following believers and the ones called to missions, but have not woken up to that calling yet. our speaker is jim isom, and were talking about family blessings this week. nobody knows what that means, but apparently were gonna talk about missions. we learned how many times things are said in the new testament, and what the majority of the new testament is about. missionary isn't used in the bible, but apostle is. and they mean the exact same thing. here are some of my notes on 'titles' used in the NT.

pastor- 1
evangelist- 3
teacher- 10
prophet- 14
apostle- 81

or somethin like that. but basically what he was saying is that pauls letters were all about going out and spreading the word of God. which i think is pretty much true... whether 'going out' is leaving home all together, or reaching out to the community, he is pretty sure a LOT of people are missing their call. i see it... he gave some astounding figures with money, basically saying (statistically) if all the people awoke to their calling, they could be supported by the people in other areas (say, business? the providers for the people that leave and need their help) with a little more than one quarter a day. not like people are doing a bad job, but its either not talked about enough in the church, there are not enough opportunities, or there are a crap load of cowards. and the only difference between the cowardly and the courageous (i think my favorite point of the day..) isn't that the courageous have no fear, its that they go despite their fear. i don't wanna think people are cowardly, i think its highly more mis-information that anything. cuz we are capable of AMAZING things. peter not being able to walk on water wasn't his lack of faith in Jesus, it was lack of faith in himself. must work on that for me...

anyways its been a thought provoking day. looking forward to man-group tonight, some cookies, some icedcream i'm sure, and fly genocide. blah.

skivved knees day.

all cuz of climbing. lead climbing. for twice. scariest thing i've done with my life i think... so amazing though, i wanna do it more. it wasn't very high at all (about stronghold height) but outside, on rocks with very small pocket holes, and sewing machine leg shakes. but awesome view, awesome place. about an hour and a half from where i'm at, and it looks like rohan. its the first time i've seen the landscape look like something in the LOTR movies. and i decided it was rohan. top rope climbing was breezy, i think God built me to climb. long... stretchy arms... without fear its easy! i think i prefer the challenge of 'if i fall i'm going to seriously injure myself on these sharp knife-like rocks'. then untying and tying myself in at the top. ... tis good! i'm listening to muse right now (butterflies and hurricanes muhahahhaa) and vacuuming is going on behind me, and it sounds.. really really good together. once the piano solo is over and the rock begins again. glorious. MMMMM i like that song more than life.

honestly not a ton to talk about today. this weekend was a good, solid rest before an apparent 'busy' week this week. don't know what could make it busier than it already is.. but. i'm gonna eat some hokey pokey icecream and finish reading my book cuz the book report is due tomorrow. then the weekly assignment tuesday... then both memory verses from this past week and this week. SOLID night ahead. hopefully i don't start drawing.. but i probably will. i wanna speak with accents all the time now. gimme a call, i'll show you.

peeps day

today we went to auckland. we got up 'super' early at 6 for breakfast an headin out on the road. its only 2 hours away so its not a super long trip, an i pass out really fast if i'm not driving so it worked out quite nice. people were going to bed at like 9:30 to make up for it though! i'm shocked at how much sleep these people need. i love them, love them a lot, but they are babies. big sleep hoarding babies. but babies need love, and not everyone has my sleep tolerance. and now its only 8:30pm an people have disappeared! though i spose we have a book report due in a few days. like. the day after after tomorrow. but tomorrow, should be swell. i'm not goin to church cuz husband tyler (my one on one, (an we must call him husband cuz its the only way to distinguish a call for one of us.)) asked if i wanted to go climbing, so i said 'chyeah.' except the period was an exclamation mark. why didn't i type it? cuz i like to explain me. i really should have brought my climbing shoes, cuz now its gonna cost me 15 bones to rent. sick. but its outdoor, so really i have nothing to lose since i'm buying experience.
but yeah. today was weird. it could, could have sucked. well really it was a shoddy start, nay! not start. probably idea... it was an island festival called pasifika, just a bunch of tents and stuff- you know, a festival. maori music and stuff.. like lots of it.. a whole park full of it.. except different sections with different islands. but really they are all the same. i think i'd get stabbed if i actually said that cuz that'd be very ignorant of me... buuut since i'm a whitey from north america their cultures all look the same. it was fun for about half hour, but being with people and being away from the base made it fun. we were supposed to be there for 7 hours, and we weren't allowed to leave the park, but we gathered together in mass boredom to find everyone and jet at 2:30 instead of 5. it was a good idea cuz we were starting to get really negative, especially me in my mind cuz i knew today we could have gone surfing. but thats ok! precious time with precious brothers and sisters sufficed just right. AND we got to get off the base. always always good. we went to a mall afterwards and i ate a lot of thai food. finally... oh it was so good. then i realized how much i hated malls cuz they make me want to buy things that i don't need with money i probably shouldn't be using. and the girls in posters! no wonder guys masturbate. i've been in a bubble for too long with nothing but trees. i haven't had to battle any demons for awhile. freaking society. i'm gonna attack you when i get back.. muhahaha. sometimes (remember i am an art student, so nudity is not a big deal at all) i think the posters should just have naked people on them, because the imagination is what destroys, and if nothing is left to the imagination, then there is no battle! plus it would be far less sexual than the way they wear the clothes, plus again they wouldn't be selling anything except for freedom from shame. see? my world would be a good naked world.
but it was a good. restful. fully clothed day. im really excited for tomorrow.

what?! thursday?! already?! its still february right?

wrong! its davids birthday soon. madness. 19. madness. february is too short for its own good anyways. but good things happen either way i guess. its been very chill. pfft wrong, its been intense and exhausting this week. i always feel churched out before a base meeting or intercession or whatever but it is never a regret that i go. i just have to right my attitude and such. i'm learning a lot about attitude... it determines so much.

i'm also learning i'm a man of subtleties.. little things sway me in good ways. whether it be God telling me something... something someone says or does to or for me... the art of being subtle is something i appreciate so much. its just so delicate and beautiful... yeah. our group is going through a lot of bonding right now with mandy. we have 2 lectures with her today, and none of us mind. it'll be sad when she leaves, cuz we've learned so much already and parting with someone who has so much practical knowledge is always as hard as her challenges have been. today went out for half hour to try to just listen... i failed of course, but it also made me realize good things, and that my distractions weren't even distractions, but subtle hints and reminders that i need to hang on.. keep goin... mandy reminded me of elijah seein a small tiny cloud in the sky and that was Gods sign to him. and like i said before about the mountain an the fire an the storm and the whisper... just so perfect! she told me i see the fingerprints of God, and that is probably how God will interact with me because he's personal like that. she had picked up an acorn earlier, and said its like the acorn... small, simple and the last thing you would expect to turn into a huge strong giant oak tree. practical and simple.. dang yes.

we also had a discussion on swearing during break. we decided the C work is the most offensive word ever. don't use it.

new week. day.

our speaker is mandy, and she is awesome. its on intercession and hearing the voice of God. therefore, i have already learned a lot. can't wait to practice it.

my yogurt tastes like bread. apricot should not taste like bread.

dad, your comment didn't show. also, send me s'more grace pens. like a lot of them.

when i get the thumb drive, i'm gonna do a video tour of my life here. it'll be approximately 15 minutes long and will be awesome if you love me or are curious about what nz looks like. heres a hint, it looks a lot like home, but it isn't.

don't send me yogurt that tastes like bread. but send me something happy.

nothin has really happened since yesterday.. i dug a trench for work program today. looooved it cuz i miss digging like nothing else.. got to get some suuun... yeah it was a solid day. small group in the night. flip i'm just tired.

super duper sunDAY

today was sunday. we went to stephs church in tiaroha, about half hour away through crazy winding one lane bridged roads. the drive didn't matter, what did is the passion for Christ that church has. the worship set was 4ish songs and it lasted for an hour and a half.. and i didn't even mind. i wasn't really paying attention (cuz my head was lost in tattoos and surfing and ... tattoos)HOWever i learned a looot from the people. they were very prophetic. yep. i was thinkin about someones tattoo, and then a woman started speaking about a vision she had received during worship, about a large gathering of angels spreading through the area, with long brass (ladels maybe.. i forgot what she actually called them... its very common i just can't think as it is sunday night and the brain has been shut down) but in the ladels were hot coals, on which to place upon the lips of people and rid them of their sin. minutes before i had looked up isaiah 6 vs. 6, which is pretty much exactly that. it wasn't anything super huge, but it made me feel connected with these people. lots of worship.. lots of prayer.. lots of talking.. such a good way to start a sunday. after steph asked me what i thought, and i said it was really cool except for the woman i was afraid of, which turned out to be her mother. you know how i know i'm smooth? cuz i get intimidated with people full of the holy spirit and then tell their daughters i'm afraid of them. booya.

then i did assignments all afternoon and listened to my top rated. double booya.

and laundry. which will be sitting outside all night, collect due whilst drying, and then dry all day again tomorrow, unless it rains, which it probably will cuz its work project day! booya trips.

the MOUNT dayyyy

we went to the beach today. f f f f f f f f finally. it was about a 50 minute drive to taraunga, then to mt manganui (which is probably the wrong spelling, but whatevah.) it was just sweet to leave the base further than matamata. i haven't seen the ocean since me'n marc ventured to vancouver last last february. so it was nice... and the WAVES oh the waves.. they were magnificent. so i surfed. i got up easy enough, rode the wave 3 solid times, nose dived once (cuz i sat way to far up on the board) and got exhausted real fast, and now i'm sporting nipple chaffing with a screamingly painful shower time cuz of board rash. next time i'm going to wear a shirt. but i was super happy with gettin up and balancing with relative ease (snowboarding really does help). i just have to get better at paddling out and reading the waves better.. its exhausting getting out beyond the breaks and then getting no waves then getting one all the way in then having to do it all again... but it was so good. i'm happy that i have actually surfed a teensy bit now. now weekends will be getting good enough to turn, find the good waves, and build muscle so i don't drown. didn't get much sunburn, just a lot of salt water rash and burning eyes and sore throat. its so freaking salty. yucks. but showers and using rins holland baby soap is nice. can't wait to venture out into NZ to good beaches.. jacob is a solid teacher. baptism by fire! i didn't get burned. we also went hiking and i took a ton of pics. including lukas cliff diving. next time i'll join... i'm gonna go call an wake up my parents. they can handle it.

open mike night tonight. i'm gonna draw drews tattoo into completion. then ponder chris's. and liz's. and draw mine. and enjoy my bros'n sis's musical talents.

d d d d d d d d day

fake stuttering leads to real stuttering. i'm thinkin.. its hard to shake. hey remember when nothing exciting happened this week? freaking lies... the speaker that had started out kinda good, then went to bad, then went to boring, then went to looooookitoutsideandalltheprettydistractions, became so good... so truthful... so respected. at the end of a week on which the topic was submission an authority, we had a session in which to pour out our sins and get forgiveness. get whole and complete with the love of Christ. started out pretty emotional... screw it lets skip back a few hours. like.. the morning. 7:15 intercession was really cool... lukas ended it with a word from God for all of us specifically. and it was dead on. i needed to pay attention and focus on what was being said today. fight the mental and optical distractions. i talked to him after... he just said i dunno dude! God just told me to say those things to each of you so i did. (he's been battling with his own truths an such this past week, and earlier he was prayed over by bill's wife barryl. i think she let some sort of holy bug in. soooo he's doin pretty sweet now.) so then after that, since today was friday we had DTS worship, just us pursuit students celebrating together in the gap. the leaders were saying that the one word that was being brought to them through prayer over and over was 'unity'. for us.. there are only 15 students so they want us tight as anything, which we are. tiny little spats or feuds have started to surface, but they've been turned into glue to bind us together even further (suck it satan). they set up communion for us to take, (a lot simpler than bread and juice.. bread and water (equally unorthodox like the shapes and l & p pop we had for communion on small group tuesday night)) but this time it was to unite us. one on one, we were supposed to bring someone over, pray for each other, then take communion together. as many times as we needed. i asked who i should do it with first an lukas came up... so we did our stuff, prayed some good prayer... he was sayin that he was thinkin he should come grab me too, so it worked out pretty well. then i prayed with john-mark, then my roommate kristen. it was solid, we all appreciate each other. i'm so thankful how close we all are and how close were gonna become..

we went back to our final lecture with dave cole, an then we started our confessions an whatnot. ... i could go on an on about people and their challenges and struggles but God was in the room again with us and it was so free. we found things out that were so shocking.. and there was so much healing. its a bigger deal in my head than i'm making it out to be out of privacy for the stuff that doesn't leave the room. gah i'm just so happy.

then tonight we went on a 'prayer walk' which i thought was gonna be flippin stupid but turns out it was quite sweet. God's following us or something... we didn't even talk to anybody but our little group of 3 but it was cool. yeahhhhhh. Gods been allowing amazing things for us.

saturda- nay! tuesday an wednesthday

more volleyball was played today.

it made want to sing aloud like it was may.

i tried to duet with a new zealand hedgehog but it said NAY.

so i decided just to play.

no guitar but lots of ping pong...ay.

human trafficking makes me really freaking angray.

there really isn't much more to say...

rhyming schemes a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a are super gay.

congraduDAYtions

new start to a new week. ha to the zah. chocolate is tasty, and flies are of satan’s demented hold on the world. i’ve never been so angered by something so little. why do leg hairs have to be so ticklish? why do flies have to live... so much. also, mosquitoes absolutely destroyed me while i slept the other night. i’m thinkin about investing in a mosquito net.. cuz fiji is gonna be the death of me apparently. i put some anti-itch stuff on last night an all it did was made the bites swell up and turn red. with my pasty white body, its easy to see where i was attacked while i slept. bahaha. and my lip was super swollen this morning from a fresh bite right on it.. it looked like i had gotten into a scrap with smurfs. i won of course, but they made me question sticking my head into a thicket of bamboo. (the smurfs in new zealand live in chutes of bamboo, and they are navy blue, not just blue. and they are very hateful. freaking smurfs...) no just kidding, but seriously. i hate bugs. h h h h h h HATE.

i smell of fireworks. *cough*

we started work duties and work program today.. mondays are work days. we have work duties everyday, and mondays we do special projects that need doing. like lawn mowing. i did a lot of it today, and i loved it. i miss the golf course.. and i hadn’t done it in so long. i was all buttered up in sunscreen so i wasn’t about to bake a cake in the kitchen (though truly that would have been a bumpin time.) but it felt good to actually work again and not feel lazy. excellent sigh. my weekly job is supper dishes, so joe showed me the pit and the rest of the duties and it shouldn’t take more than 20 minutes each day... so no worries! it’ll be a good time. mebe next week i will be blessed and get toilets. our speaker this week is dave cole. he’s a lot more energized than maynard was, (not to discredit maynards wisdom at ALL (he was amazing)) but hopefully it’ll be easy to stay awake this time around. its all about authority and submission... gonna be sweet! i thought up a really really cool graffiti idea for when i get back to calgary... AND it goes hand in hand with my road signs addiction, therefore i am excited to practice art in its highest form (in my opinion.)

also new to the agenda, an agenda! we have schedules now so we don’t always have to be waiting on someone to tell us whats up next. lots more time to discuss amongst ourselves where next to hitchhike and whatnot. cuz we are all gettin the itch for snackfood. before bed food. and in between meal food. though i’ve found myself really really enjoying the discipline of set meal times, and having patience. HOWEVAH! i need me my oatmeal an yogurt. monday nights we have small group as well, and its just our house. 9 guys, no secrets, lots of life fixing and bro bonding. tonight we got tighter through the art of roman candle fighting... and hedgehog kicking. nah it was just roman candle fights in the skatepark. and we saw a hedgehog. and i accidentally brushed the bottom of my foot against in on the way back cuz it had chosen to reside in the middle of the dark sidewalk. it looked far sadder than a hedgehog from a pet store... DTS goggles are funny.

g’nite, or g’day, or g’send me a letter.

sunDAY

s s s s s s s s s s sabbath!

therefore i:

skipped church. cuz i've been churched all week.

did my C.I.R. and did it creatively, with graffiti.

played pingpong and volleyball. cuz exercise and sunburn was needed.

and i am anticipating pizza, and hopefully not diharea.

also, my urine was the deepest yellow it has ever been today. why must you know? so you remind me to stay hidrated, and pray i don't die from being too caught up in sports to take care of myself.

also i rolled down the hill in a tire. i probably should have vomitted. but i held it in. high fives for me. thinking about it brings back the nausia... so worth it.

cheers and happy sabbath blessings like... eat less cheese but read more scripture.

yes.